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There’s No Handbook for How to Do This

Month: August 2018

  • Tributes

Michele Flournoy’s Eulogy of Shawn

Posted on August 31, 2018August 31, 2018by Marjorie
Shawn Brimley backpacking before cancer

Below is the eulogy that Michele Flournoy gave at Shawn’s funeral. Shawn Brimley was an extraordinary human being. A devoted husband and father. One of the country’s most brilliant and respected defense intellectuals. An innovator and institution builder. A truly beloved colleague, mentor and friend. And an example for us all. He was in his […]

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  • Missing Shawn

Family photos

Posted on August 29, 2018August 26, 2018by Marjorie
Marjorie Brimley and children with Shawn's guitar after his death

The night before we took family photos this year, I picked up Shawn’s guitar and put it by the front door. I didn’t want to forget it. I’d already laid out the kids’ clothes and made sure we looked somewhat pulled together. But I felt like something was missing, so I went down and sat […]

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  • Things That Suck

20 Years

Posted on August 27, 2018August 26, 2018by Marjorie
Two photos of Marjorie Brimley's parents and husband before the death of her mom and Shawn

Two decades ago, a woman I barely knew shook me awake. I was staying with a friend on one of my days off as a camp counselor, and I had gone to bed early only to be awoken at dawn by my friend’s mother. “Your father is on the phone,” she said to me. I […]

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  • Family & Friends

Talking to My Kids About Death, Again

Posted on August 24, 2018August 26, 2018by Marjorie
Austin in church in Washington DC

Many years ago, when Claire was about 5, she was just starting to understand the concept of death. One day at school she learned from a friend that people can die of all sorts of diseases. This peaked her curiosity and she asked me about a dozen questions that night. “But how do people get […]

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  • New Perspectives

Promises I Can’t Keep

Posted on August 22, 2018August 26, 2018by Marjorie
Claire Brimley working on paperwork in DC house

Four days. That’s how long Shawn and I had to plan. I knew late Friday night that things were going badly, but it wasn’t until Saturday morning, January 6th, that the doctor told us that Shawn had “weeks, not months” to live. We thought we had at least a few weeks to get things together, […]

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  • Holidays

The First Day of School

Posted on August 20, 2018August 26, 2018by Marjorie
Brimley children and Grant sitting on steps in Washington DC

I missed my kids’ first day of school last year.  My hometown of Albany, Oregon was one of the best places to see the total solar eclipse of 2017 and so instead of walking my kids to their first day of school, I watched the eclipse with my dad and sister.  I don’t regret it, […]

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About Me

Marjorie and Shawn Color Portrait

Hi I’m Marjorie Brimley, mother of three and high-school teacher in Washington, D.C., and this is the blog I never thought I’d have to write.

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