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There’s No Handbook for How to Do This

Month: August 2019

  • Things That Suck

Do This, Because You Are Her Friend

Posted on August 30, 2019August 30, 2019by Marjorie
DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley hugs her friend Michelle in field

Let’s say you have a female friend that’s you’ve known for a number of years (and it could be a man, but for simplicity’s sake, let’s imagine it’s a woman.)  One day, her husband falls ill and soon after, he dies.  She is bereft, and also needs to figure out how to afford her house […]

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  • Parenting

Another Year Without My Mom

Posted on August 28, 2019August 28, 2019by Marjorie
2 photos of the family of DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley

Every year since I was 19, I’ve dreaded August 26th, as it’s the anniversary of my mom’s death. When my dad called to tell me she had died by suicide, I sank to the floor, unable to do anything but scream “tell me you are lying!” It was 1998 and I was just about ready […]

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  • Parenting

What My Kids Need At School This Year

Posted on August 25, 2019August 24, 2019by Marjorie
Children of DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley smile standing near school

School starts tomorrow. I’m so nervous that I’m having a hard time sleeping. I know I shouldn’t be. My kids go to a great school. They know most of the kids who will be in their classes. Many adults in the building know their names and all three of them seem genuinely excited to start. […]

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  • Things That Suck

The Man at the Gas Station

Posted on August 23, 2019August 23, 2019by Marjorie
Gas pump like that used by DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley

I realized I was out of gas as I headed back from the doctor last week. I was out in the suburbs, too far from home to wait until I could go to my usual gas station, so I pulled into a random one on a side street. I got out, paid for my gas […]

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  • Missing Shawn

Flatwood Willie

Posted on August 21, 2019August 20, 2019by Marjorie
Pile of trash similar to that visited by DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley

The thing about being way out in the country is that there’s no trash pickup. It makes you acutely aware of exactly how much garbage you produce, especially when you have to frequently pack it all up in your car and then drive to dispose of it. So on our recent trip out to rural […]

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  • Family & Friends

Pistachio Nuts, Epipens and Friends

Posted on August 19, 2019August 19, 2019by Marjorie
Nuts on plate similar to those that caused allergic reaction in DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley

Last Thursday was a great day. Claire tried out for the local rock climbing team, and since I don’t have childcare in the summer, I took the boys to watch. They had fun too, and we all drove home with the windows down and the music blasting. I put frozen taquitos in the oven for […]

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About Me

Marjorie and Shawn Color Portrait

I’m Marjorie Brimley, mother of three and high-school teacher in Washington, D.C., and this is the blog I never thought I’d have to write.

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Categories

  • Ask A Widow (3)
  • Family & Friends (44)
  • Holidays (26)
  • Missing Shawn (42)
  • New Perspectives (49)
  • Parenting (35)
  • Things That Suck (44)
  • Tributes (6)
  • What Not to Say (16)
  • Work (7)

Archives

  • ►2019 (142)
    • ►December(2)
      • Speed Dating
      • The Warmth of Home
    • ►November(12)
      • My Body Knew
      • Ask a Widow: What to Do When You're a Widow and a Parent
      • My Widow Friend Abena
      • All Shawn Ever Wanted for Me
      • Just Marjorie and the Hash Run
      • Guilt
      • Ask a Widow: Yes, It's Okay to Want to Have Sex Again
      • Kindness
      • In a Hurry
      • Ask a Widow
      • Old and Young, At the Same Time
      • Trigger Warning
    • ►October(13)
      • The Avengers
      • Talking Football at the Kitchen Island
      • Grant Showed Us the Way
      • My Cross to Bear
      • In An Instant
      • And the Air Will Buzz Again
      • In the Middle
      • "If I Die, Please Get Remarried"
      • What's the Worst Thing That Can Happen?
      • October 10th
      • Marjorie's Favorite Grief Books
      • At First Glance
      • Grandpa Tom's Exercise Routine
    • ►September(13)
      • Zombies, Run
      • Lemonade
      • I Followed the Rules
      • When 5-Year-Olds Talk About Death
      • Costco, the Cemetery, and My Dad
      • I'm Not Getting a Dog
      • Ministry of Presence
      • So Close. And Yet So Far Away.
      • September 11, 2001
      • Grandpa Tom Returns
      • Do It When It Doesn't Make You Want To Throw Up
      • Home Base
      • From Standing to Dancing
    • ►August(13)
      • Do This, Because You Are Her Friend
      • Another Year Without My Mom
      • What My Kids Need At School This Year
      • The Man at the Gas Station
      • Flatwood Willie
      • Pistachio Nuts, Epipens and Friends
      • The Bear
      • Grilling
      • Kids That Could Be My Own
      • Can't You Just...?
      • "My Dad Died in the War"
      • Nights at the Kitchen Counter
      • Wisps of a Dream
    • ►July(14)
      • I Am Someone New, Too
      • What Austin Brought to Camp
      • Questions
      • Our Bathroom
      • What I'm Scared Of
      • Heavenly Love
      • Where’s Your Husband?
      • "Are You Going To Die?”
      • The Look of Real Love
      • The View in Portofino
      • Lost
      • Swimming in the Mediterranean Sea
      • Our 15th Wedding Anniversary
      • Shawn's Birthday, Year 2
    • ►June(12)
      • Sundance or Sunscreen?
      • Happiness Is For Other People
      • Team Brimley
      • Brave or Stupid
      • My 200th Blog Post
      • Father's Day, Year 2
      • The Last Day of School
      • Not a Shitty Husband
      • Marjorie's Graduation Speech
      • Soulmates and Other Things I Don't Believe In
      • Sick Day
      • The Day the Car Didn't Start
    • ►May(14)
      • Waiting for the Future
      • The Girl at the Coffee Shop
      • How Did You Cope?
      • The Oklahoma Clarks
      • Unaffected
      • Asparagus Cures Cancer
      • Tommy's Bike Ride
      • "It Hurt for Me"
      • Mother's Day, Year 2
      • One of the Most Important Things a School Can Do
      • The Worst Book I've Read in a Long Time
      • Zoe Keating's Concert
      • How My Son Found Family Across the Alley
      • The Talent Show
    • ►April(13)
      • The Little Things
      • The Clark Family
      • Heroic Work
      • Reflections at Your Grave on Easter Weekend
      • What (Not) to Say in Crisis
      • Sometimes There's a Little Vomit
      • The Closet
      • Rainbow Chicken
      • First Rental Car
      • New York, New York
      • Happy Now
      • Walk to the End of the Driveway
      • Colon Cancer Run
    • ►March(13)
      • "It's Okay, You Can Do It!"
      • Angry
      • You Are Alone. Accept That. Carry On.
      • Freak-Out Letter #6
      • He Pushed the Button
      • 24 Hours
      • It Might Not Happen For Me
      • Fleetwood Mac
      • Backsliding Into Grief
      • Running to the Door
      • Claire's New Email Address
      • I Am Doing Today
      • The Fans in the Stands
    • ►February(11)
      • Who Has a Better Life Than Us?
      • 40
      • Tommy's Birthday
      • Our Trip to the Waterpark
      • The Ensemble
      • Valentines Day
      • After a Year
      • Last Night
      • The Ring
      • Thestrals
      • Lullaby
    • ►January(12)
      • Careful
      • The Letter
      • Young Love
      • The Spelling Bee
      • Family
      • Across the Doctor's Office
      • Year of Yes
      • "I Want Daddy to Come Back"
      • When He Was Still Mine
      • In the Movie Version of My Life
      • "I Think He's Dying"
      • ….Hello 2019 (Part 2 of 2)
  • ►2018 (129)
    • ►December(13)
      • Good Riddance 2018…. (Part 1 of 2)
      • Home
      • Sweet Potato Fries
      • Christmas Eve
      • Just Because Your Husband Dies, You Don't Necessarily Get the Job
      • Salsa in my Cup
      • Decorating for Christmas
      • Santa Shawn
      • Lockdown
      • Shawn's Cancer Humor
      • Zombie Apocalypse
      • Strong
      • Stories for My Daughter
    • ►November(12)
      • One Year Later
      • Joy!
      • Watching “Widows”
      • Thanksgiving
      • More
      • Report Cards
      • Bill Brimley's Speech at CNAS in Honor of His Son, Shawn
      • Smash the Patriarchy
      • Field Trips, Open Houses and Other Events I Can't Attend Anymore
      • Shawn's Wife
      • What Would Shawn Do? (Election Day 2018)
      • Why I Might Have to Stop Reading "Mommy Blogs"
    • ►October(13)
      • Dad Is Not a Zombie
      • CNAS Tribute to Shawn (Part 2)
      • Guns and Cancer
      • Life advice from the aesthetician
      • It's Easy to Judge (100th Blog Post)
      • "Holistic Medicine" and Other Words I Never Used to Like
      • Austin and the Kittens
      • "Go To the Hospital"
      • Not My Domain
      • The Joshua Tree
      • Sorry For Your Loss: A Review
      • A Brutal Few Weeks
      • The Feminist in Our House
    • ►September(11)
      • My Garden
      • I Might As Well Get Cheaper Tires If My Husband Has to Be Dead
      • EMDR
      • Claire's Hero
      • Falling Trees
      • Reckless
      • Parent 2
      • We All Hurt
      • No Ma'am
      • The First Day of School, Part 2
      • Remembering Shawn as He Really Was
    • ►August(14)
      • Michele Flournoy's Eulogy of Shawn
      • Family photos
      • 20 Years
      • Talking to My Kids About Death, Again
      • Promises I Can’t Keep
      • The First Day of School
      • I Want to Die Right Now Because at Least Then I Wouldn’t Have to Carry Anyone Home After They Throw Up from Eating Too Much Ice Cream
      • Running With Anger
      • The Marine
      • A Beautiful Day
      • That Poor Girl
      • The Power of the Word "Widow"
      • Dear Girl on the Phone from UCLA
      • Weekend Shawn
    • ►July(13)
      • The Treadmill
      • Who's Saving Our Basement? (Part 2)
      • Reading with Claire
      • Why Being a Widowed Single Mom is So Hard
      • Single
      • Nana
      • The Scar
      • A Review of "A Widow's Guide to Healing"
      • Run Away
      • 6 Months
      • Go, Go, Go
      • An Anniversary of Sorts
      • What If the Plane Crashes?
    • ►June(13)
      • Shawn's Birthday, Part 2
      • Shawn's Birthday
      • 5 Stars
      • CNAS Tribute to Shawn
      • Brussels Sprouts
      • Father's Day
      • You're Not Bothering Me
      • It's Just Me
      • So Proud
      • Do You Know What Makes Me Nervous?
      • Grandpa Tom
      • 90s Party
      • An Uncomfortable Reality
    • ►May(12)
      • Full Time
      • Where Should We Begin?
      • Brave Through It
      • Peace Be With You
      • Pooping on the Potty
      • Why Do All the Damn Parents Die in Disney movies?
      • Mother's Day
      • Who Am I?
      • I Turned Out Okay
      • Our Forever House
      • I'm Not Sure How You Survive That
      • Riding Bikes
    • ►April(13)
      • My Flawed Husband
      • To Update the Account
      • I'm Not Grateful
      • Frozen
      • It Doesn't Matter
      • The Last Perfect Weekend
      • Keep Walking Past That Door
      • Press Fast-Forward
      • "You look hot, by the way"
      • My First Sleepover Birthday Party
      • It Can Always Get Worse
      • There's No Crying at the Swim-Up Bar
      • One King Bed
    • ►March(12)
      • Straight to Heaven
      • I Knew You Before
      • Why I Can't Call You Back
      • All Kinds of Therapy
      • First Day Back
      • It's Not "Better"
      • The Guitar Lesson Guy
      • Who's Saving Our Basement?
      • The Little Hand on My Back
      • There's Only One Option, and This Is It
      • My Eulogy of Shawn
      • “I’m at Trader Joe's, What Do You Need?”
    • ►February(3)
      • Costco and the Cemetery
      • Chuck E. Cheese and Jury Duty
      • My 39th Birthday...
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