My eight-year-old, Austin, has always held his feelings close. When his father died last January, I worried about how he would fare in the world without the man who understood him best. His older sister talked openly with me about her emotions and his younger brother cried any time I left his sight. But Austin’s […]
Family & Friends
The Little Things
Right after Shawn died, I was talking to a girlfriend of mine about how I missed going out to dinner. “We can go out anytime,” she said. “If it’s easier, we can just go out with all of the women.” She was trying to be compassionate. She understood that it could be hard for me […]
The Clark Family
“Austin can’t come to the phone right now,” my aunt Nancy said to me. “He’s skinny dipping in the pool. I told him he needs to do it fast because the girls will be out there soon!” I laughed, and I could see the smile on her face as well. “Okay, well can I talk […]
Heroic Work
I met Reed, the man who would become one of Shawn’s cancer doctors, minutes after we first came to NIH. The days before we met him were a blur of horror: I had driven Shawn to the local ER and watched him curl up in pain, hours later Shawn had been admitted to that same […]
Sometimes There’s a Little Vomit
I was away on vacation for the first time in months. It was glorious. I still woke up early, went on a run and had eggs for breakfast. But I got a bit of time and space to think, to breathe and to remember who I was without all of the distractions of daily life. […]
Rainbow Chicken
I know I keep writing about it, but wow, March was HARD. I cried more than I’d cried in months, and I had moments when I wasn’t sure if I was going to be okay in the long-term. I had terrible anxiety at night and walked around like a bit of a zombie during the […]