My sweet Claire, today is your birthday. You are eleven. This one seems different than the others, somehow. You are so much older and wiser, so much more aware of the world around you. Maybe it’s how all 11-year-olds are. But something makes me think you have just a bit more insight than many kids […]
Holidays
Valentine’s Day, Year 3
I’m spending Valentine’s Day with 3000 high school students. I actually volunteered for this assignment. It’s one I’ve been doing for years, including when Shawn was alive. I run the Model UN program at my school and the students have a big conference every year right around Valentine’s Day. The first year I did it, […]
…Hello 2020 (Part 2 of 2)
Hello 2020. Hello widow friends. I’m sorry we met. But I’m glad I know you. Hello nights that last until 2 am. Sometimes because they are sad. But more often, because they are fun. Hello to being alone. Not lonely. But alone. I’m finally learning the difference. Hello anger, sadness, grief and fear. You all […]
Goodbye, 2019… (Part 1 of 2)
Goodbye 2019. Goodbye breakouts, worry lines and gray hairs from grief. I may not be able to hide you all, but I’m going to try. Goodbye waking up at 2 am. Goodbye fear that I can’t grill hamburgers or do my finances. Yes, Shawn did them before. But I can do them now. Goodbye first […]
Christmas Magic
“Mom, I have to tell you something important,” Claire said to me in late November. “I know Gingee isn’t real.” I froze, a bit. Gingee is our elf. She’s actually just a stuffed doll that Shawn and I got when Claire was 4 or 5 during the elf-on-the-shelf craze (Claire named our elf Gingee at […]