• Beach for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley Hale
    Holidays

    He is Still Here with Me, with Us

    How has it been 5 years? It’s what I keep thinking lately. For some reason, this anniversary of Shawn’s death feels different. More significant, maybe, but also just strangely unsettling. You see, the first anniversary was one of deep grief, one that was overpowered by any other emotion. But as the anniversaries continued, I found that I could more easily face them, and sometimes even find meaning in them. My anxiety was – and is – still significant around January 9th. But I’ve learned to cope with it. I’ve learned to focus on my children and lean on Chris. And yet, I keep asking the same question: How has it…

  • Daughter of DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley Hale hugs cousin
    Holidays

    …Hello, 2023 (Part 2 of 2)

    Hello, 2023. Hello to a new language and a new culture and a new understanding of the world for my kids. Hello to nights that end after midnight. Honestly, down here in Colombia, hello to nights that really get started after midnight. Hello 44. It’s going to be a big birthday this year – 5 years since I started the blog – and I want to make sure to celebrate to the max. Hello to knowing that joy exists, even in those times when I can’t see it. Hello to good coffee from the old lady on the corner, to bunelos after Sunday morning runs and to the sound of…

  • Son of DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley Hale swings over lake
    Holidays

    Adios, 2022… (Part 1 of 2)

    Adios, 2022. Adios to planning and making sure everything is perfect before I do something daring. Life is too short to avoid risk. Adios worrying about what kind of a widow I should be. I am remarried, I am a mother, I am happy. I am also a widow. Adios old cars and old car registrations, and adios to the DMV. Okay, not really, because I know I’ll be back at the DMV many more times, but adios to dealing with death-related things at the DMV. Adios fear that Chris will die. He will, someday. But not yet. Not yet. Adios, trying to please everyone. It never worked in the…

  • Girl writing blog on computer for DC widow Marjorie Brimley Hale
    Holidays

    Thanks on Thanksgiving

    I’m going to let you in on a secret. I’ve decided that it’s time to end the blog. Don’t worry – I’m not stopping right now! At this point, I don’t know exactly how I’m going to stop writing this blog. But for the past few months, I’ve been wrestling with whether it makes sense anymore for me to write about widowhood. The early, intense months of widowhood are now in the past for me, and even the big changes that occurred over the past 4 1/2 years – living with my dad, raising kids as a single mom, dating, falling in love, the pandemic, getting married and having Chris…

  • Children of DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley Hale watch fireworks
    Holidays

    How We Remember

    I’ve been in Texas all week, gathering with my family as we do every year. It’s been lovely, full of all the things that make my family great – big pool parties, loud arguments, belly laughs and a whole lot of ice cream. I haven’t done any work, and I haven’t even thought about writing, until now. I’ve simply enjoyed the company of my aunts and uncles and cousins and the zillion kids that are here. It’s been glorious. And so, it was a bit odd to be getting ready for lunch yesterday when I realized that it was July 3rd. It surprised me. Not that I had remembered the…

  • Children and husband of DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley Hale pose at baseball game
    Holidays

    First Father’s Day

    One of the more surprising things we discovered as we began the adoption process was this: once Chris officially adopted the kids, their birth certificates would change to show him as the father. And Shawn’s name would be removed. It seemed strange to me. They are both the kids’ fathers, so why did the government need to erase Shawn’s name? I get it, in the legal sense. It’s important for forms and other legal issues and I’m sure it is a product of the closed adoption system that was common in the past. But still. Shawn’s role in the kids’ lives mattered, and continues to matter. Just not on paper.…