….Hello 2019 (Part 2 of 2)

DC widow blogger Marjorie Brimley splashes in water with her three children

Hello 2019.

Hello security – in my finances, in my parenting, in my choices.

Hello running fast and slow, up hills and down, with tears and without.

Hello writing, this time without striving for so much perfection.

Hello nights that end after midnight.

Hello banker, financial advisor, lawyer.  I can navigate you and your paperwork now, and I’m going to be proud of that.

Hello rocking my baby after his bath.

Hello daydreams.

Hello therapy over wine with girlfriends after school.

Hello God.  Whoever or whatever or wherever you are.

Hello acceptance of other people and their reactions to my loss.

Hello eight hours of sleep.

Hello empowerment.  Let my children see a mom who refuses to be a victim to her circumstances.

Hello ice cream that I can finally enjoy.

Hello risk.  Maybe even a few big ones.

Hello laughter that comes from my children and from having an extra drink at the bar.

Hello memories that remind me I was truly loved, once upon a time.

Hello basketball games where I cheer from the stands so loud I embarrass my kids.

Hello new foods with flavors I never thought I’d enjoy.

Hello vulnerability.  You lead to connection.

Hello trips to places that stretch my mind, my palate and maybe my patience. 

Hello love – from my children and my friends.  Maybe even from someone new.

Hello first sip of coffee in the morning, reminding me that life’s small pleasures are worth savoring.

Hello anger, because sometimes it has its place.

Hello bravery both big and small. 

Hello enjoying this life I have.

Hello 2019.

Image Credit: Stefanie Harrington Photographer.

9 Replies to “….Hello 2019 (Part 2 of 2)”

  1. This is so inspiring to read, Marjorie! Your words reflect so much hope. I pray that I can be at this place very soon…it has only been 5 months.

    1. I mean, it’s still up and down for me. But compared to 5 months out….that time was the WORST. So hang in there – in many ways, it does get easier.

      1. Thank you. That’s good to know, Marjorie. I’m at six months right now. It seems that when the initial numbness wears off, it does get harder in many ways. I do love your list, especially “enjoying the life I have.” That’s something I need to keep telling myself. Here’s to a better 2019 for all of us.

  2. Marjorie, this is beautiful. It is so filled with sunshine and hope, and in that adorable picture you look like a little girl! I hope you always smile like that.

    I wasn’t planning to post comments again anytime soon, but this afternoon the sweetest, young teacher in the classroom next to mine came over and told me her husband was just diagnosed with esophageal cancer. He is 44 years old and they have 2 boys, 9 and 6. She turned to me for support knowing that this is the cancer my husband has and that she needs support as she starts out on this horrible journey. She said (which reminds me of you) that, “we have to try and make him well. We have 2 little boys and there is no other option. We need to come out on the other side, but I’m afraid of what’s there.” If their outcome places her in this “club” I will share your 2018/2019 posts with her. I pray I won’t have to. Again, Marjorie, this is just beautiful.

    1. God, I hope you don’t have to share my blog with her either….will send virtual hugs. It’s so hard.

  3. Hello! Hello! Hello!

  4. It is three months for me and this post gives me a lot of hope. At times, the pain is simply unbearable and I struggle to make sense of it all. I have learned to let myself feel these emotions when they wash over me. At the end, I often feel better again. I have learned that suppressing it will only make it worse. I’m better than I was when I was just one month out and I try to celebrate each little accomplishment and I set small goals. One step at the time…. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It really brings hope and validation to the ones like me who are sometimes are just hanging on by a thread.

    1. I’ve said this before in other comments, but four months was the hardest point for me. It was around 3 months when the shock started to wear off and then it was so tough for a few months after that. Things do get better, but I remember that feeling. Just make it through however you can and know it will get easier. It will.

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