Nana and grandkids in the pool in Texas during family reunion

One day near the end of the school year, I picked Austin up and he insisted that we call his Nana.  “Today at school,” he told me, “we had a cake made out of ice cream for a birthday party.  I want to call Nana and see if they have those kind of cakes in Texas!”

I smiled, and felt a bit guilty too.  Had I really never introduced ice cream cake to my 7-year-old?

We called Nana, and she picked up on the first ring.  “Hi Nana,” Austin started.

“Austin!” Nana shouted.  I could picture her face – smiling and full of life.

“Guess what?” Austin asked her.  “We had this cake at school today and it was made out of ice cream.  I was thinking that since Texas is really hot, maybe they have ice cream cake in Texas and maybe we can get one when we come and visit?”

She laughed.  Nana has this big-hearted Texas laugh that fills a room with joy.  “Oh honey, that sounds like a wonderful idea!” she said.  “We’ll definitely do it.”

When we arrived in Texas a few weeks later, Nana had ordered not one ice cream cake, but two.  That’s just the kind of person Nana is.

Nana is actually my aunt Nancy, but to all the kids in the extended family, she’s just “Nana.”  Nancy married my dad’s brother Fred many decades ago, and although she’s not blood-related to me, she’s always been a constant in my life.  When my sister was a baby and I was only about three years old, my mother was hospitalized for her depression.  My father was working full-time, and after a while realized that he couldn’t handle it all.  Without any explanation needed, Nancy flew up to Oregon and got my sister and I and brought us back to Texas for an extended stay.  She already had three boys of her own, but as she has always said, “there’s always room for one more at the Clark household.”

Maybe that’s why every single day at Nana’s house feels like a party.  Sometimes, I turn around and random kids I’ve never seen are swimming in the pool or watching a movie while sitting on her bed.  When a neighbor shows up asking to borrow something, he gets invited in for a plate of food.  I’ve even seen her offer a glass of wine to the mailman (he declined, but I think appreciated the offer.)  Some days, I honestly can’t believe that she can tolerate such a high level of chaos and messiness.  But she always says that she feels blessed that she has so many great family and friends around her.

Maybe it was years and years of watching Nancy invite everyone happily into her home that made me call her that cold December day last year.  All I knew was that Christmas was rapidly approaching and I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle everything with Shawn in the hospital.  I remember picking up the phone to call her, not sure if I was going to ask her to come and help or just see if she could talk to my dad about him coming early.  But when I heard her voice say, “Hi, honey,” I just started crying.  I could barely get out a few sentences before she said, “I’m coming.”

She came, and she stayed.  She walked the kids to school and wrapped Christmas presents and answered all the neighbors’ questions.  She left her own five grandchildren in Texas and Maryland and instead spent Christmas morning with my children, laughing at their joy and making Christmas feel like Christmas.  When we all thought maybe Shawn would recover, she went home, only to return just a few days later for his funeral.

And then she stayed some more.  She stayed for the weeks following the funeral and talked to the many people who came to the door.  She played video games with the kids and made sure we always had clean counters and floors.  She sat calmly at my kitchen counter every evening, watching my face to gage my emotions.  I remember, years earlier, how she had done the same with her husband Fred, who eventually also died from cancer.  In many ways, she understood my pain in a way few others did.

She stayed until February came and I knew it was time to let her return home.  The kids cried the day she left.  I think they wondered how we would make it without her.

And so, the kids counted down the days until our summer vacation in Texas, until they could see their cousins, their Grandpa Tom, their Aunt Terry, and their Nana.  They were not disappointed.  Nana’s house means unlimited swimming, mountains of ice cream and constant movies shown throughout the day.  It also means following only two house rules:

  1. If you want something, get it yourself
  2. There’s no crying unless there’s blood

Basically, it is kid paradise.

But I think what makes Nana’s house so fun isn’t just the carnival-like atmosphere.  Lots of sweets and movies gets old after a while.  What makes Nana’s house so fun is Nana.

On the fourth of July, for example, she said she had a surprise for all of the kids.  She brought them to her back porch, and I went out to help.  “Go back inside,” she said, only to me.

I did, and I watched her let all the kids crowd around her.  She was telling them all something that made their eyes go wide.  Just then, I saw her run across the porch and jump into the pool fully clothed.  All of the kids screamed with joy.  “Well what are you waiting for?” she asked them, laughing.  “Come on!”

Soon, over a dozen kids were jumping in the pool, all of them also fully clothed.  They got their Aunt Terry to come in as well, and then some of the adult cousins.  Their faces were priceless, and this cover photo is my attempt to try and capture the joy.

I don’t know what makes Nancy more awesome – her calm and loving presence when it’s most desperately needed, or her ability to embrace every moment and get the entire Clark family swimming in a pool with all of their damn clothes on.  Maybe it’s that she does both with a full heart.

Today is her 70th birthday.  I forgot to get her a card, but I know I am so lucky to have had her in my life all these years.


35 Replies to “Nana”

  1. What a beautiful tribute – I could feel the joy in your words. I’m so glad you have her in your life!

    1. Me too!

  2. What a beautiful tribute – I can feel the joy in your words. You’re so lucky to have her in your life.

  3. Nancy Clark says: Reply

    I am humbled and touched by your words, Marjorie. This beats any card you might have bought. Thank you for all the kind words when, I know, you could have written about so many times I could have done better. You and your family are very special to me and I know just how blessed I am to have so many children call me Nana. Hope our fun times continue for years to come

    1. We love you Nana! Happy birthday!!

  4. Nana is the BEST! I think you captured her spirit perfectly in this post. And, sure, we just met this past January, but I think it only takes about 2.5 seconds to realize she’s one in a million. Happy birthday Nana!

    1. Exactly!!

  5. Paula Donnelly says: Reply

    This is so lovely. My cousins refer to their similar summer vacation as “Camp Nana.” Ice cream for breakfast and an espresso and a trampoline before bed 🙂 Hope you’re soaking in all that joy!

    1. We are. Wish we could stay all summer – it’s amazing.

  6. Nana is the best!!! You gave her the best Birthday present ever. Smiles and laughter with so much love. 🎊🎂🏊‍♀️🍷and all those delights found at Nana’s!!!

    1. It’s so wonderful to be in Austin!

  7. Nancy Branch says: Reply

    My name is Nancy too, I turned 70 just a week ago, and I am Nana to my grandsons. I would love to be just like this Nancy! Your blog for today brought tears to my eyes. Happy birthday to Nancy Clark!

    1. Love this!

  8. Such a beautiful post about an obviously wonderful, kind and loving Nana! What a gift she is and I so love the kids expressions of joy in the pool! Xo

    1. I wish I could have really captured it all but I still love that grainy photo. And she is so wonderful, that is true!

  9. You’re one of the best Nancy! Happy happy birthday!

    1. She is!

  10. Sheryll Brimley says: Reply

    Happy Birthday Nancy!
    Hopefully all the Clarks spoiled you on your very special day!
    We just might do a road trip….Bill wants the ice cream.

    1. The ice cream is worth it! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  11. Happy Birthday, Nancy!

    This post makes me so happy.

    Can she come and visit ME sometime … ?! 😉

    1. I don’t know about that, but she sure would welcome you at her house! 🙂

  12. I aspire to be like Nana! She lives life to the fullest and is such a gift to your family. ❤️ Hopefully she felt well loved and appreciated on her birthday!

    1. She certainly does live life to the fullest!

  13. “I’m coming.” ❤️

    Happy birthday to an incredible person. May we all be blessed to have a Nancy Clark in our lives — someone who knows when they are needed without even being asked and is able to bring happiness and pure joy to those around her.

    1. Yes – that is a great description of her!

  14. […] didn’t come up until the summer. I was sitting in my aunt Nancy’s house, reading stories to them at bedtime when Austin innocently asked, “how did Grandpa […]

  15. […] the toll that single parenting has taken on me. I hope I never have another summer like this one. So many people have helped me but no matter how many people do, I continue to be totally […]

  16. […] that purrs when you rub its tummy!!!”) and my neighbors did the rest.  On Christmas Eve, my aunt Nancy and my Dad helped to arrange all of the stockings and make everything […]

  17. Marjorie, you’re a wonderful daughter to Nana and a great sister to us. We love you.

    1. I love this. Love you too, cousin.

  18. […] There are 14 cousins when we all get together (12 boys and 2 girls!) and my Aunt Nancy (aka “Nana“) joyfully welcomed the chaos into her home. My Aunt Terry came in from out of town to see […]

  19. […] called Claire as soon as I landed.  My aunt Nancy picked up.  “She’s gone to bed,” Nancy said, “I told her your plane was delayed but […]

  20. […] only fair. My aunt Nancy makes (or organizes) almost all the food. My Aunt Terry spends the after-dinner hour watching all […]

  21. […] have a sign in my kitchen with our three house rules. They are rules that I borrowed from my aunt Nancy (aka “Nana”), ones that all of the grandkids know they must follow when they are at her […]

  22. […] because my mom is gone, my kids don’t have a grandmother on that side. But they have their Nana and Aunt Terry and others who are technically their great aunts and uncles but they see as much […]

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