Sometimes There’s a Little Vomit

Father of DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley, Tom Clark, carries Tommy and looks at the distance

I was away on vacation for the first time in months.  It was glorious.  I still woke up early, went on a run and had eggs for breakfast.  But I got a bit of time and space to think, to breathe and to remember who I was without all of the distractions of daily life.

My dad was home with the kids.  I called every night and talked to them via FaceTime.

One night he answered after just one ring.  “Things are fine here,” he said.  “But Austin is playing basketball in the alley and refused to come in for dinner.”  He shook his head with a mixture of frustration and resolve.  “Tommy wasn’t feeling well, so he’s in bed.  Claire had some problems with her friends at school today.  I talked to her about how you sometimes had problems with your friends when you were her age.  I told her that it’s normal and she should try and stay out of as much of the conflict as she can.”

“Wow, dad,” I said, “you are doing some real parenting there!”

He raised his eyebrows.  “Here, you should talk to Claire,” he said, and handed the phone to her.

“Mom,” Claire said, her eyes wide, “there were SO many problems at school today.  All of my friends were upset.”

She continued to tell me about the drama of fourth grade.  It involved a rumor that she described as “definitely NOT TRUE!” and a lot of girls crying. 

“Well,” I said, “I think this is an example of something you should try and stay out of.”

She made a face.  Then, there was a terrible sound in the background, followed by shrieking.

The phone went sideways.  A second later, Claire came back into my view.  “Tommy is throwing up!” she screamed.

I could hear Tommy crying.  “Go get Grandpa Tom!” I said to Claire.

The picture on the phone shook as she ran to get my dad.  “Tommy is throwing up!” she screamed.  I could see an image of my dad moving quickly across the screen.

“Ew!” she said to me.

Tommy was still crying in the background.  “I’m going to go in my room so I don’t have to smell it,” she said.

She shut the door to her room and started to tell me more details about her day.  I interrupted her.

“Claire, you need to go check on Grandpa Tom and see if he needs help.”

“Ew!” she said.  “If I do that, I’ll have to look at throw-up!  And then maybe I will throw up!  And that would definitely be worse for Grandpa Tom.”

She had a point.  “Okay,” I said, “why don’t you just open the door to your room and yell out it, “is everything okay?”

She did that.  In the background, I could see my dad quickly running with a bucket.  Tommy was still crying.  “You’re okay,” my dad was saying to him.

“He’s okay,” Claire said to me, and shut the door.  We continued our conversation.  After a few minutes, I said, “how about you go give the phone back to Grandpa Tom?”

She went and found him.  He was cleaning out the bucket in the bathroom.  “I can’t talk right now,” he said.

“Dad, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this,” I said.

“It’s no big deal,” he said.  “It’s just a little bit of vomit.”

Claire turned the phone back to face her.  “Do you want to talk to Tommy?”

I wasn’t sure that I wanted to watch him throw up again, but I said yes anyway.  She put him on.

“Mama!” he said, and started crying again.

“Oh, baby,” I said, “you’re so sad!”

“I threw-up!” he said.  “I don’t like throwing up.”

“I know,” I said soothingly.  “But you’re okay.”

Finally, after a lot of back-and-forth, Tommy said goodnight.  Claire handed the phone back to my dad who was finishing up the clean up.

“Dad, I’m so sorry,” I said again. 

“It’s fine.  I told him to throw up in the bucket so it wasn’t that bad to clean up,” he said. 

“Still,” I said, “I’m sure this wasn’t something you imagined doing this week.”

“Hell, Marjorie,” he said, “this is just life.  Sometimes there’s a little vomit.”

8 Replies to “Sometimes There’s a Little Vomit”

  1. I love your blogs. For me, each one comes with tears, simply because I know your story, and how you came to widowhood. I have a 37-year-old son who became a widower in June 2018, after his 32-year-old wife committed suicide. They had 9- and 7-year-old daughters, as well as an 18-month-old son. Just like you, he has a very strong extended family. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Extended family is so vital when a person’s nuclear family shatters. I don’t know what I’d do without my dad – certainly I’d be a lot less happy.

  2. You dad is a parenting (and grand-parenting) tank. He just rolls over emergencies. They’re no match for him! This made me feel so bad and laugh out loud at the same time. Hang in there, team!

    1. He’s my rock!

  3. Michelle Klein says: Reply

    That is exactly your dad. Marjorie I have to tell you this story about the wisdom I gained one day from your Dad.
    One day I was just a bit frustrated with my oldest son who was quite frankly a pig.. His room was a constant mess and he never put his dirty clothes in the hamper..So I was always either cleaning his room or forging thru the mess for clothes to wash. Needless to say I was fed up. The constant nagging never made a difference.
    So one day I walked into your Dads office and said ‘”I have something that is just killin me a little each day and I don’t know what to do about it.” Your dad of course like always said, “whats on your mind?” I perceived to tell him my story of the pig I live with.
    He said, “you know you can fix that problem in about 5 seconds.” I about dropped to the knees and kissed the floor he walked on. I couldn’t get the word out fast enough. I said “HOW?” I just had to know this wonderful idea to help me from pulling out my hair.
    Your dad looked at me and said ” SHUT THE DAMN DOOR!!” That will fix it, you wont have to look at it and if he wants to live in a pig sty, let him.. lol
    I can’t tell you how many times I have ” shut the door” and have told others that story. I always get a chuckle out of everyone I tell.

    Michelle Klein

    1. This is a great story, and is exactly how he remains today. It’s really helpful for me as a parent! I’ll pass on your love to my dad.

  4. Sharm Running says: Reply

    Helluva day, helluva Grampa, helluva Mom! You’re all gonna be ok! I’m sending comfort and love to all of you, and especially you, the little girl I first met, still in her mommy’s tummy💗

    1. Oh, thank you. I do feel the love. xo

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