• Bar for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley
    New Perspectives

    You Can Just Be Happy

    In early 2020, before the pandemic hit, I went out with the Cabal to an Irish pub, where we flirted with the bartenders and told funny stories and cried a little and laughed a lot. It was exactly how many of the Cabal gatherings always had been – filled with every possible emotion. I think our stated reason for the gathering was that someone was celebrating a deathiversary (and yes, that’s a word – otherwise known as the anniversary of someone’s death – see my posts on January 9th each year.) In any case, we definitely spent part of the night talking about loss. But we also discussed lighter things,…

  • Hands in air for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley
    Family & Friends

    Want Less Judgmental Friends? Find Some Widows!

    I was talking to a widow friend via text the other day, and I was catching her up on my life. She knows about my partner Chris but didn’t know all the details of our relationship, so I was filling her in. “So he’s never been married,” she said, “why is that?” Quickly, before I could answer, she texted a follow-up, “there is zero judgement from me, obviously.” Here’s the thing – she didn’t have to type that last line. I already knew it. I knew it because she’s my friend and I know she wants the best for me. But I also knew it because she’s a widow. My…

  • DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley laughs with her friend
    Family & Friends

    The 5 Friends a Widow Needs

    I’ve been thinking a lot about my friends lately, especially because I don’t get to see them in person very often. Yes, sometimes I’ll pass someone on a walk a catch up for a moment, and yes, I do like to connect virtually. But as we all know, it’s not really the same as having a group of people gathered around your kitchen island, drinking beer and making chili and laughing about the week. I’ve also been remembering all of the support they have provided me over the past two and a half years. There are so many ways that my friends have kept me afloat that it’s hard to…

  • Table with food like that visited by DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley
    Things That Suck

    Table for Seven

    The other night, I was getting ready to go out to dinner with my friends when I got a text. “Do you want to take a cab with us?” “Yes!” I replied. I was standing in my bathroom and Claire was chatting with me about her day. “Isn’t it nice that someone thought about me and asked me to go in the cab with them to dinner?” I said. “That is nice!” she said. “Who are you going to dinner with?” I listed off three couples, noting that I felt lucky that these couples wanted to include me, even though I was coming by myself. “Usually I just go out…

  • Arms in washing machine like that of DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley
    What Not to Say

    Tough Love

    I read a lot of things about grief, much of it online. There are some really great websites that deal with grief (like Modern Loss) and also a ton of Facebook/Reddit/Instagram/Twitter resources and forums. In a lot of these places, people come together to say something like, “I lost a person I love and cry every day. How did other people cope?” I almost never post in these forums. I love that there are places on the internet where people can go for support, but I would rather rely on the support I get from my blog readers and my in-person friends and family. Sometimes I do post an encouraging…

  • Fuzzy image of woman in bar like DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley
    Ask A Widow

    Hey Married Lady! Here’s What You Can Do To Support Your Single Friend

    Let’s say you know a single woman. Maybe she’s divorced or maybe she’s a widow or maybe she’s coming off of a long-term partnership. But whatever the case, she’s now single. And she doesn’t want to be. You, however, are married. You aren’t always happy with everything your spouse does, but you have a stable marriage. You’ve dated in the past, but that was many years ago. So now you are watching your friend try to start dating. Maybe it’s been a really long time since you were in the dating world, and the idea of internet dating or sleeping with someone new seems really daunting. Trust me – it’s…