“I don’t want to bother you….” starts the email. It’s nothing new. I get an email or a text or something like this at least a couple of times a day. At first, when Shawn was sick and then immediately after he died, I couldn’t really process anything. I read the emails and then never […]
how to talk to a widow
An Uncomfortable Reality
A few days ago I was waiting to pick up Claire from school, baking under the newly hot weather we’re getting these days. I was standing around with all of the other parents and babysitters and somehow ended up next to an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in awhile. “Oh, Marjorie,” she said to me, “I […]
Peace Be With You
Getting to church on time has proven to be very difficult in the past few months. Hell, getting anywhere on time in the past few months has been tough. So it was no surprise when I arrived to services halfway through the first reading with my three kids last Sunday. Austin and Claire ran ahead and […]
Frozen
I was dropping off Tommy at a play date the other day with a friend. The mother, my friend, had invited a few kids over, and as I turned around, I saw one of Tommy’s classmates with her dad. He looked at me, trying to place me. Our mutual friend said, “Oh, I’m sure you […]
All Kinds of Therapy
I can’t even remember all of the people who sat in my kitchen and listened to me cry in the first few weeks of Shawn’s diagnosis. But I do remember them being there, and listening to me, and not usually knowing what to say, but staying nonetheless. They validated my feelings that things were horrible, […]
First Day Back
When I went to put on my shoes this morning, I realized they were caked with mud. For a moment, I was confused. But then I remembered – the last time I wore these shoes was at Shawn’s burial on that freezing January day. Ugh. It was the first thing to trigger my grief and […]