Let’s say you have a female friend that’s you’ve known for a number of years (and it could be a man, but for simplicity’s sake, let’s imagine it’s a woman.) One day, her husband falls ill and soon after, he dies. She is bereft, and also needs to figure out how to afford her house […]
how to talk to a widow
What (Not) to Say in Crisis
Right after Shawn died, lots of people tried to say things to me that were supposed to be comforting. Most of these sayings reminded me of Hallmark cards, even if they were heartfelt (i.e. “I’m thinking of you in this difficult time.”) Other times, people stumbled over their words, trying to find the right thing […]
Life advice from the aesthetician
“Do you have kids?” the woman at the salon asked me. It was an innocuous question – one that I’ve asked other people a million times. But I knew where it might go. “I do,” I said, “three of them. All under 10.” “Wow,” she said, “that’s a lot of kids to handle.” “Well, yes, […]
Sorry For Your Loss: A Review
A few weeks ago, a new show debuted on Facebook. I had no idea Facebook made tv shows, but apparently they do. In any case, this new show is called “Sorry For Your Loss” and is about a young widow. It is brilliant. That is not an understatement. I’ve watched the first eight episodes and […]
We All Hurt
“You’re awfully young to be a widow,” the jeweler said to me with a shocked expression on his face. I was at a jewelry shop looking at new ring settings. I’ve been thinking about getting my wedding ring re-made into something that I could wear on my right hand. I wasn’t sure if I wanted […]
Dear Girl on the Phone from UCLA
I’m so sorry that you had to get me, of all people, when you innocently called to ask for money. I’m so sorry I picked up. I never do. But I saw the 310 area code and I thought it might be an old friend from college and really I just wanted to chat with […]