“Are you all planning on wearing your wedding rings?” It was an innocent question coming from a friend of mine, another young widow named Alexi. In a few hours, we were slated to meet up with a few other young widows for a night on the town. We discussed the issue at length, eventually deciding […]
how to talk to a widow
Just Marjorie and the Hash Run
I am trying new things. I mean, my whole life is about trying new things: learning to fix things around my house and grill for my kids and maintain a handle on my finances. But what I mean is that I’m trying new things that I don’t have to do. I’m experimenting with new recipes. […]
Ask a Widow
Every few weeks, I get a panicked email or call from a friend or acquaintance or stranger from the internet. “I don’t know what to do,” the person tells me, “my friend/sister/neighbor/colleague just lost her partner, and now she’s a widow. How can I help her?” I always ask more questions before I answer. Because, […]
Do This, Because You Are Her Friend
Let’s say you have a female friend that’s you’ve known for a number of years (and it could be a man, but for simplicity’s sake, let’s imagine it’s a woman.) One day, her husband falls ill and soon after, he dies. She is bereft, and also needs to figure out how to afford her house […]
What (Not) to Say in Crisis
Right after Shawn died, lots of people tried to say things to me that were supposed to be comforting. Most of these sayings reminded me of Hallmark cards, even if they were heartfelt (i.e. “I’m thinking of you in this difficult time.”) Other times, people stumbled over their words, trying to find the right thing […]
Life advice from the aesthetician
“Do you have kids?” the woman at the salon asked me. It was an innocuous question – one that I’ve asked other people a million times. But I knew where it might go. “I do,” I said, “three of them. All under 10.” “Wow,” she said, “that’s a lot of kids to handle.” “Well, yes, […]