• power lines for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley
    Things That Suck

    To Update the Account, Part 2

    The first few months of widowhood are awful, full of deep pain, heavy anxiety and….a shit ton of paperwork. It’s actually amazing. I mean, I knew there would be some paperwork, but I had no idea that for many weeks after Shawn’s death, I’d need to devote at least 4-5 hours a day to figuring out finances and bills and forms and everything else. Did your late husband have a car he owned, one that didn’t have you on the title? Well, you’ll have to go to court for that! Yes, even if there was a will. Welcome to probate. I am grateful that I had resources to go to…

  • Airplane in sky for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley
    Things That Suck

    The Anxiety is Real

    My sister recently had a baby. A little girl, her second, perfect and tiny and the best possible thing to happen in this year of horror. My dad was finally vaccinated, and he was traveling to see my sister and help with her children. I jumped at the chance to see them both. But that is all the subject of a different blog post. This blog post is about what it’s been like to be on a very full airplane, next to perfectly nice people who are nonetheless scaring the shit out of me. No, they are not reckless, and they have mostly been wearing their masks. But my greeting…

  • Meat on table for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley
    Things That Suck

    Death by Pork Butt

    I told myself I couldn’t freak out until 10 pm. I had been worried for the past hour, but I tried to rationalize it. Everything was fine. It wasn’t really that late. But then 10 pm arrived, and I let myself get really worried. Where was Chris? He’d been over at his sister’s house that evening, sitting around the fire and chatting with his brother-in-law, Josh. A few friends and neighbors dropped by to say congratulations on our engagement, and Josh was smoking a pork butt in his new smoker. Chris had let me know that things were behind schedule, as the pork butt was taking much longer to cook…

  • Children of DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley at cemetery
    Things That Suck

    Three Years

    It took Shawn an entire day to die. I laid next to him as he came in and out of this world, holding my hand and squeezing it when he could. Of course, it took him longer than a single day to die. He had been dying for weeks, and we knew for days that the end was very near. But he was always cognitively aware until the very last day of his life. That day, he was more out of this life than he was in it. I knew that he was going to die that day, or sometime very soon. The doctors told me. The nurses told me.…

  • Bathroom for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley
    Things That Suck

    The Spot on the Bathroom Floor

    I’m writing this post from my bathroom floor. There’s a spot that’s empty next to the wall. I always thought I’d put a bench there, but somehow, I never did. Instead, it’s just a random spot of floor, perfect for curling up into a ball. I guess it’s pretty obvious that curling up on the bathroom floor hasn’t just been a hypothetical idea for me. On the contrary. This is my spot. How many nights did I sit here, arms wrapped around my knees and cry? God, it must’ve been at least six months. I knew that my kids and my dad were less likely to hear me if I…

  • Abstract lights for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley
    Things That Suck

    DC Widow Is Taking Today Off

    Just a note to say that DC Widow is taking the day off today. I decided to come up with a list of all of the reasons why I needed to take today off, and here is what I have: Um, first, the election. Obviously. I felt as though I was going to have a panic attack a dozen times over the past two days and I could barely watch the returns come in last night. I never drink too much, but I needed that third gin and tonic. I stayed up way too late and let my kids do the same and now I’m so sleep deprived….. ….and speaking…