Adios to planning and making sure everything is perfect before I do something daring. Life is too short to avoid risk.
Adios worrying about what kind of a widow I should be. I am remarried, I am a mother, I am happy. I am also a widow.
Adios old cars and old car registrations, and adios to the DMV. Okay, not really, because I know I’ll be back at the DMV many more times, but adios to dealing with death-related things at the DMV.
Adios fear that Chris will die. He will, someday. But not yet. Not yet.
Adios, trying to please everyone. It never worked in the past, and now I am more focused on what really matters.
Adios complaints about aging. I’m almost 44, and that’s to be celebrated.
Adios to going to bed early every night because I’m so exhausted. Turns out, I like dancing after midnight.
Adios Covid. Yes, we all got infected this year. But I’m ready to say goodbye for real, hopefully very soon.
Adios expectations about what a family should be. Our family is not the one I planned when I was 17. But it is perfect.
Adios insecurities. Sure, I’ll never have perfect Spanish and my children will always mock my accent. But I’ve done a lot this year that I never thought I could do with our family, and that’s something to be proud of.
Adios gun violence. I know, it’s wishful thinking, but I want to be able to say “adios” for real.
Adios to fear that my kids would be screwed up forever. They had their share of hardship, but even still, they had many happy years, too.
Adios to wondering about my mom’s death. There are so many things I’ll never know, but I do know she tried her best.
Adios to perfection in everything from what I make for dinner to how I parent my kids. I’m doing the best I can, and that is all I can ask of myself.
Adios fears about living abroad with kids. We did it, and it’s not perfect but it’s something I’ll never regret.
Adios, junk mail that still arrives for Shawn. Even when he’s been gone for almost 5 years. Even when I’m living abroad. Even when we have strangers living in our house.
Adios to homesickness. Yes, I may feel that way sometimes. But I can also remind myself how many people love me no matter where I am in the world.
Adios to anyone comparing my life with Shawn to my life with Chris. It’s not a competition.
Adios to my blog. Not yet….but sometime fairly soon. I will not forget all your support through the years when I needed it most.