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3 am
I woke up at 3 am last night. I was confused for a moment, as it wasn’t yet light and I hadn’t been awoken by my children. I sat in the confusion for a moment, and then I felt a warm body next to mine. I felt calm as I laid my head back down to sleep. This does not seem like the start of a dramatic story, but when I reflected on it in the morning, I realized how far I’ve come. Like many people, I’ve woken up at 3 am throughout my life. As a college kid, on the couch that had enveloped me in sleep. As a…
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In My Driveway
There he was, standing in my driveway. He was leaning just slightly against the garage door, grinning at me. I hadn’t seen him in over a month, and it took a moment to sink in. How was he here? He was supposed to be far, far away. How was he actually standing in my driveway? But there he was. And within a second, I knew it wasn’t a dream. I knew he was real and I knew he had come for me. I ran to him as fast as I could and I threw my arms around him. “How are you here?” I kept saying, as he laughed and I…
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I Wanna Dance With Somebody
When I was a new widow, one of the things I hated most was ending up on the dance floor alone. It’s not like I’d never danced without Shawn. I mean, I’m a decently confident person, and I never needed him in order to dance at a party or a bar or a wedding. It’s just that I was so used to dancing with him after 15 years together. I dated men before Shawn who didn’t like to dance, so when we met and I realized he had no insecurities about getting out on the dance floor, I happily joined him at any chance I could get. When he was…
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Ask a Widow: What If He’s Not Shawn?
People love to write me about dating – how to start doing it, how to talk to someone you’re interested in, how to handle the dramas of dating (there are so many). One of the things I see repetitively on my blog are questions or comments about the specific issues pertinent to dating as a widow. There are a number of these, but one in particular stands out. I’ll paraphrase, but it usually goes something like this: I’m trying to date again because I don’t want to be alone. I am going out on dates, but nothing feels quite right. At the end of each date I think, “that person…
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Alone
I may need to give up social media for the next few months. I’m serious. I mean, I’m getting a lot of great information from the journalists I follow and I am able to connect with many people that I can’t see face-to-face anymore. It’s important to my writing that I remain on social media. And really, I find out things happening in my local community a lot easier through social media than I do through any other means. But dear GOD, I’m starting to really hate all the “happy coronavirus” photos. Listen, I’m a contributor as well. I post the photos of my kids playing outside and dutifully finishing…
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The Happiest Place on Earth
“Tommy, listen to me,” I said very seriously as we sat on the plane down to Florida, “you are going to have to walk a lot on this trip. Mama can’t carry you all the time, and you’ll have to stay with our family. There will be a lot of people and I don’t want you getting lost.” Tommy looked at me and earnestly nodded his head. I knew he was really excited. Claire and Austin squealed behind us. Just a few hours prior, I’d announced that instead of a few days at a local indoor waterpark, we were headed to DisneyWorld for a week! I couldn’t believe I’d managed…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
