Back in the late summer of 2002, when Shawn and I were falling in love, we had a night when we were laying around my apartment, talking about life. My head was in his lap, and he brushed my hair with his fingers. We sat on tatami mats, their smell slightly permeating the room, and […]
remembering Shawn
Talking Football at the Kitchen Island
The raised voices drew me closer to my kitchen counter. “No way, man, the Bears are terrible,” I heard one man say. “If you think you’re going to tell me that they are better than the Vikings, I have to remind you about that quarterback of yours!” I smiled. I was hosting an event for […]
“If I Die, Please Get Remarried”
If you are married or have a long-term partner, I want you to do something right now. I want you to turn to your partner, pick up your phone, or get some paper out. And then I want you to tell your significant other this: “if I die, please get remarried.” “What?” you might be […]
So Close. And Yet So Far Away.
Right after Shawn died, I boxed up a number of his shirts, certain that I’d do something meaningful with them. I never did. Even after I cleaned out his side of the closet and added even more clothes to the box, I felt paralyzed about what to do. Then, out of nowhere, an old friend […]
September 11, 2001
I was falling asleep at night when I got a call from a friend. “Turn on the TV,” he said. I couldn’t understand what I was seeing. I couldn’t understand what I was hearing, either, as the broadcast was in a language I didn’t yet know. But as the minutes turned into hours, as our […]
Flatwood Willie
The thing about being way out in the country is that there’s no trash pickup. It makes you acutely aware of exactly how much garbage you produce, especially when you have to frequently pack it all up in your car and then drive to dispose of it. So on our recent trip out to rural […]