When Shawn and I got married, almost six years had passed since my mother’s death. I was 25, bright-eyed and excited about the future, in a dress with a skirt so big it looked like something a barbie doll might wear. It was a great weekend, and every single one of my extended family members […]
remembering Shawn
Guilt (Part 2)

The notes from my widowed readers came in pieces over the past few months, but together, they read something like this: I am so happy that you have found your second love, Chris. You seem really happy! I also recently found someone new, and for the first time in a long time, I feel alive […]
It’s Not All About the Last Day

One of my favorite quotes on dying comes from the late Paul Kalanithi, in his book When Breath Becomes Air: The last day of your life is not the sum of your life. The sum of your life is the sum of your life. I’ve thought about this quote a lot over the past three […]
The Exploding Whale

Yesterday, an old friend alerted me that it was the 50th anniversary of the exploding whale video. I laughed to myself as I searched for the video. “Kids!” I said loudly, “come in the kitchen and watch this video. It was one of dad’s favorites!” I clicked on YouTube and there it was: the exploding […]
His Kindness Will Echo

Moments after a Biden win was announced, a friend turned to me and said, “I’m thinking of Shawn right now. It feels like he’s with us.” I smiled. I was camping with a few friends but we managed to get some service and (since we are Biden supporters) celebrated in the socially-distanced way that we […]
Ask a Widow: Legacy (Part 2)

In my last blog post, I replied to a message from a reader about dating, but I was so wrapped up in addressing her feelings of frustration that I never answered her ending question, which was about navigating a new relationship as a widow. So I’ll do that today. Before I do, here’s the same […]