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The Power of the Word “Widow”
A few weeks ago, I heard through friends that the General Manager of Millie’s, our favorite neighborhood restaurant, had died after being shot a few weeks prior. He left behind a wife and baby. I didn’t know them, but I can’t stop thinking about his family. Many people I know posted things on social media or shared text messages about what had happened. Everyone expressed sympathy for his wife. I reached out to a few friends who knew her, offering condolences and any help I could offer when she’s ready. But you know what I felt for her? Sympathy. “It’s so awful,” I said to my sister. “Another young widow.”…
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Dear Girl on the Phone from UCLA
I’m so sorry that you had to get me, of all people, when you innocently called to ask for money. I’m so sorry I picked up. I never do. But I saw the 310 area code and I thought it might be an old friend from college and really I just wanted to chat with someone tonight. Someone who once knew me and loved me. Someone from the past who remembered when I was young and fun and had not a care in the world. But it was you. You read from a script and you asked me how I was doing and you told me about all of the…
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Weekend Shawn
One of Shawn’s favorite things to do was to have dinner on a Sunday night with other families. He loved the weekends, and he wanted to make them last. This usually meant we’d find our house full of kids and our fridge full of beer as the weekend rolled to a close on Sunday evenings. When Shawn got sick, we did this a lot less, and once he was in the hospital, we obviously didn’t do it at all. After he died, I couldn’t even conceive of how I would manage to have friends over or do anything fun again. One day, about two months after Shawn died, Claire looked…
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The Treadmill
People really hate having treadmills in their houses. I’ve heard this before, but I truly realized it a few months ago when I posted this to my community listserve: I’m looking for a free/cheap treadmill. If you have one you’d like to sell or give away, please email me. I got three responses in the first 20 minutes it was up. I wanted a treadmill because it’s been really hard to figure out how to fit in a workout without Shawn around. Of course, my dad is almost always home during the school year, but in the mornings (when I liked to work out) the kids really just want me. …
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Who’s Saving Our Basement? (Part 2)
DC has been getting a LOT of rain. My sister came to visit a week ago, and we had grand plans to go to the pool and the zoo and on all sorts of fun adventures. Instead, we’ve been stuck inside having marathon dance parties and playing laser tag. Even for two girls from Oregon, this rain was too much. Wednesday night, I invited over a few friends for some food and a break from the rain-filled monotony of the day. It was pouring. The kids ran around playing laser tag and we drank wine, marveling at the intensity of the rainstorm. I think I was in the middle of…
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Reading with Claire
Every night, the routine is the same. I read a book to Tommy. I read a book to Austin. Then I sit on the end of their bed until they fall asleep. They have a bunk bed, but they both sleep in the bottom bunk together. This is something they did for most of 2017, and it seemed like last fall, Austin was ready to move to the top bunk. Of course, now all bets are off. It’s actually comforting to me that they have each other, even if it means that when one of them wakes up and comes to my bed in the middle of the night, the…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
