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What (Not) to Say in Crisis
Right after Shawn died, lots of people tried to say things to me that were supposed to be comforting. Most of these sayings reminded me of Hallmark cards, even if they were heartfelt (i.e. “I’m thinking of you in this difficult time.”) Other times, people stumbled over their words, trying to find the right thing to say. Sometimes, people said nothing at all. (As a note, I think saying nothing at all is the worst. Better to mess up and say something annoying/imperfect than to ignore a terrible situation. Even if it’s been a year or two and you still haven’t said anything to someone who’s grieving, you can do…
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Sometimes There’s a Little Vomit
I was away on vacation for the first time in months. It was glorious. I still woke up early, went on a run and had eggs for breakfast. But I got a bit of time and space to think, to breathe and to remember who I was without all of the distractions of daily life. My dad was home with the kids. I called every night and talked to them via FaceTime. One night he answered after just one ring. “Things are fine here,” he said. “But Austin is playing basketball in the alley and refused to come in for dinner.” He shook his head with a mixture of frustration…
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The Closet
I am a minimalist. So was Shawn. We both hated stuff, and made sure to clear out anything that wasn’t being used frequently. In fact, a friend came over the other day after I cleaned and jokingly asked, “what happened? Did you get robbed?” I laughed. Shawn would have been proud. My kids know that I am likely to get rid of any and all clutter and they are pretty used to it, but they frequently worry that I might “lose” something of theirs. For example, the other day at a party, Claire came up to me, handed me something and started to run off. But then she paused, turned…
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Rainbow Chicken
I know I keep writing about it, but wow, March was HARD. I cried more than I’d cried in months, and I had moments when I wasn’t sure if I was going to be okay in the long-term. I had terrible anxiety at night and walked around like a bit of a zombie during the day. But I convinced myself that my kids didn’t really notice. Or if they did, they didn’t care that much. They still had school and their friends and my dad. So what if their mom was a little bit off? Claire asked how I was doing a few times, and I was honest that I…
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First Rental Car
I went to Minnesota in February this year. I know. It probably wasn’t the BEST time to visit that part of the country. But I had an assignment: I was going there to interview Nora McInerny. (As a note, this post is not about that interview – that’s not for my blog. This post is about my own experience of being in Minnesota. If you’d like to read what I wrote about Nora, click here.) A few months prior, I had pitched the idea to write about Nora’s new book. I spent about 20 minutes telling my editor how interesting Nora is, and all of the work she does for…
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New York, New York
“Woah,” Claire said as we came out of the dark tunnel and into the sunshine. “This is New York? It’s AMAZING!” We had arrived at Penn Station for a special birthday trip to the Big Apple. She’d been to New York before, but she didn’t remember it. This trip was going to be different. We were meeting her cousin Ashley (and Ashley’s mom Amy, who flew out from Texas to meet us because they are awesome) and we were going to celebrate Claire’s first decade of life. “It’s so busy!” Claire said, “and all the cabs are yellow. And there’s someone dressed like Wonder Woman over there!” I laughed. Her…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
