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I’m Not a “Bike Widow”
Chris is an avid cyclist, and the other day he was texting with a friend who rides bikes with him. They were trying to plan a long ride at some point, and Chris told his friend that he needed to check with me first, since an entire Saturday morning was a long time to be away from me and the kids. In jest, his friend texted back, “better that she find out now that she’s going to be a bike widow every weekend!” In response, Chris texted, “since she’s an actual widow, I try not to joke about that sort of stuff.” His friend was hugely apologetic. He didn’t mean…
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Happy Birthday to My Mom
My mom would be 72 today, if she had lived beyond middle age. She lived a full life, even if it was short, but she never got to watch her daughters get married or hold her grandchildren. She never became a photographer or a teacher later in life, and she never lived long enough to think about dying her hair or letting it go gray. She missed the many events that come with grown children and grandchildren and she missed the life she could have had. She missed it. And for much of my life when I thought about my mom’s death, I’d think about the events in my life…
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Letter to Shawn
Dear Shawn, I was watching the news last night, listening to a politician who was speaking about current events in the United States. I was only half listening because I was trying to work on my blog (I’ll get to that in a minute), but it occurred to me that so much has changed since your death almost three years ago. If you arrived in our living room this morning, you might be really surprised at what has transpired over the years since you left. So here’s my update to you, just in case you can somehow access it. Let me start with the most surprising things happening in our…
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Ask a Widow: Legacy (Part 2)
In my last blog post, I replied to a message from a reader about dating, but I was so wrapped up in addressing her feelings of frustration that I never answered her ending question, which was about navigating a new relationship as a widow. So I’ll do that today. Before I do, here’s the same excerpt of that note, edited for privacy: My husband died two years ago. He was one of those people who were well known by many. We had hundreds of people attend his funeral and to this day, he is loved and celebrated by many. I am honored by this, but at the same time, it…
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Ask a Widow: Legacy (Part 1)
I get a number of private messages on my blog, and I try and respond when I can. Usually, there is little I can offer to grieving people except to say, “It’s terrible. Hang in there.” But every once in a while, I get a letter that really makes me think. That happened to me last week, and the reader graciously allowed me to address it publicly. Here’s an excerpt of that note, edited for privacy: My husband died two years ago. He was one of those people who was well known by many. We had hundreds of people attend his funeral and to this day, he is loved and…
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The Price of Corn
I teach American government, so you can bet that if something newsworthy happens in politics, I’m going to hear about it from one of my students. Last week, after the Iowa Senate debate, I received this (now infamous) clip of the two candidates discussing farming and commodity prices. The challenger, Theresa Greenfield, knew the price of corn right away, but the incumbent, Joni Ernst, couldn’t remember the price of soy. It was one of those “gotcha” kind of questions that politicians are often asked. It’s the kind of question that may seem unfair. But I love these kinds of questions. Do I know the price of corn? No — but…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
