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Sorry For Your Loss: A Review
A few weeks ago, a new show debuted on Facebook. I had no idea Facebook made tv shows, but apparently they do. In any case, this new show is called “Sorry For Your Loss” and is about a young widow. It is brilliant. That is not an understatement. I’ve watched the first eight episodes and I am convinced that the writers for this show are all young widows. It’s that spot-on. The show is about a woman, Leigh (played by Elizabeth Olsen), who is probably in her early 30s. As the show begins, the viewer finds out that her husband died three months prior. In the first episode, she sits…
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A Brutal Few Weeks
I’m not sure how to say this any other way, but it’s been a brutal few weeks for me. Of course, healing from tragic loss is not linear. Every therapist loves to tell me that, and I believe it. Some days are terrible, some days are not, and there’s no specific progression. In January, and for about six months afterwards, I felt really sad about my life. I felt like I might never be happy again, because how could I be? But then, I started to see some hope. I had days when I felt good for much of the time, and I began to envision the future. I couldn’t…
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The Feminist in Our House
Last week on Thursday, I took 55 kids down to Capitol Hill where we met with members of Congress and observed everything that was going on outside of the Kavanaugh hearings. It was an incredible day – my students were thrilled to learn more about the process and to be downtown at such an important and history-making moment. I came back exhilarated. An hour later, I was crying in the bathroom. Thank God we have private staff bathrooms where I can compose myself, because I’m not totally sure how I would have explained my emotions to my students. Did the hearings bring up all sorts of feelings for me? Yes.…
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My Garden
I’ve always loved my garden. I love the way I can plant a tiny seed or a miniature seedling and with just a little work, it can grow into a plant that towers above my children’s heads. When the kids were really little, Shawn spent a series of weekend days digging out and building vegetable beds for me. It was a labor of love, and involved a lot of back-breaking work. I remember when he finished them and sent me a photo. There wasn’t any text with the photo, but I felt a rush of love for him when I got it. He didn’t need to write anything else, because…
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I Might As Well Get Cheaper Tires If My Husband Has to Be Dead
I heard the hissing immediately. What the hell was happening? I hopped out of the car, and looked down. A woman walking her dog stopped. “It’s your tire,” she said. “It’s not good.” She wasn’t kidding. There was a 2-inch slit in my tire and it was completely flat. “Shit, shit, shit!” I said, staring at the tire. Austin’s baseball game was starting in 5 minutes. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to a 2-hour second grade baseball game with a 4-year-old in tow, but at least it gave me time. I walked up to the game. “My tire is flat,” I told the parents who had assembled for the game.…
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EMDR
I got together with one of my widow friends the other day (yes, that’s a thing) and we started talking about all of the crazy types of therapy we’ve both tried. Of course, we both have individual therapists (I’ve been through three) and group therapy (we’d each tried a few.) She told me about a “grief yoga” group she attended. I talked about the crazy “mindfulness and grief” group I went to that was not a terrible idea in theory but that I had to leave in practice once people started crying about their dead dogs. Of all of them, I found the spousal loss group I did at the…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
