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Grandpa Tom’s Exercise Routine
Every morning I get up and run before the sun comes up. Sometimes, it seems that no one else in the world is awake. No one, except my dad. He’s always up before I make it out of bed. I can hear him in his room, moving around and sometimes listening to music. I know what he’s doing in there, as it’s what he’s done every morning for 22 years. He’s exercising. I’ve always thought little of his exercise routine, but as I mentioned it to more and more people here in DC, I started to realize how unique it actually is. So the other day I decided to interview…
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Lemonade
“I love lemonade!” Tommy declared, as he walked out of the restaurant where we’d just finished eating. “You love lemonade, just like your Grandpa Tom,” I said. My dad laughed. Thirty minutes prior, when we were waiting in line to order, my dad confessed to me, “I let them get a fountain drink when we come here without you.” I told him it was fine with me if they got something sweet to drink, and I let the kids order what they wanted. Tommy chose lemonade, just like my dad. So as we exited the restaurant, we both laughed as Tommy took the last sips of his lemonade and danced…
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Costco, the Cemetery, and My Dad
My dad loves Costco. In fact, I think he loves it even more than I do. He is a man who needs very little, but he is also someone who never likes to be short of supplies. As evidence, we currently have five gallons of milk in our fridge. (“Just in case the other four gallons get consumed in under 24 hours!” I told my sister the other day. She laughed. “I love dad,” she said.) In any case, when I mentioned that I needed to go to Costco to get some things for a party, my dad immediately said that he wanted to come with me. “Just so you…
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Ministry of Presence
My friend Kumar is a pastor. As part of his work, he runs a bereavement group, and we meet up sometimes to talk about loss and how to help people make meaning of their lives. One day, I was telling him about some of the things that people had done for me after Shawn died, and he said, “we call that the ministry of presence.” I liked that phrase, so I asked him to tell me more. He said the following, The basic idea is this – as a pastor, you can preach a good sermon, but in the end, did you go on the journey with your parishioners? You…
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Grandpa Tom Returns
We counted down the days. Tommy, unable to understand the days of the week, would simply ask, “is it tomorrow?” every day. We cleaned the house and Claire made a cake. We were so excited, and when he finally walked in the door after a summer away, all three kids screamed at the same time: “GRANDPA TOM!!!” My dad was laughing. He was tan, a result of daily rounds of golf back in Oregon, and his white hair stuck out at the sides. He set down his bags and picked up each kid before giving me a hug. “We’re really glad you’re here,” I said, in the biggest understatement of…
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From Standing to Dancing
The thing about being a widow is that you become kind-of a crappy friend, at least for a little while. You cry at people’s weddings. You ruin perfectly good barbeques by talking just a little too much about your late husband. You’re never on time. You forget to call people back and you never remember anyone’s birthday besides your own. You never do the carpool and you certainly don’t organize weekly get-togethers. Sometimes when you get together with your friends, everyone spends all of their emotional energy on you. At times, it’s not a lot of fun to be a widow’s friend. Still, so many people have been good friends…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
