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Single
I was chatting with some of my girlfriends the other day when we began to discuss this guy one of them knew who lives in another city. I can’t remember his name, so I’ll call him Bob. Anyway, Bob is apparently single and my friend wanted to find him a girlfriend. We all spent time having a heated, if somewhat ridiculous discussion about which teacher at our kids’ elementary school we’d like to see him date. Then, one of the women there said, “But really, I don’t really have any friends who are single anymore.” Others chimed in. A few people had some divorced friends, but most of the situations…
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Do You Know What Makes Me Nervous?
How the hell am I going to do this? No really, how the hell am I going to raise three young kids without Shawn? There’s literally a decade left before I send the first one to college, and I really don’t know what I’m doing right now, much less how I’m going to figure it out in the future. Some days, it just feels damn near impossible to know how to parent alone. Take tonight. I took the kids out with friends for a fun kid-themed dinner at a Japanese steakhouse. There was entertainment and the kids were all so excited. But I couldn’t even get through the appetizer before…
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Where Should We Begin?
Right now, I’m obsessed with the podcast “Where Should We Begin?” by Esther Perel. The host is a couples therapist, and the podcast is basically her sitting down with a couple and discussing whatever is going on in their marriage. I stumbled upon it after listening to Perel on the podcast “Terrible, Thanks for Asking” which is hosted by the Hot Young Widows Club founder, Nora McInerny. So, oddly, I have spent now countless hours listening to a podcast about couples because of a connection I have through one of my spousal loss groups. In any case, I love Perel’s podcast. I’ve listened to couples dealing with infidelity, couples who…
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Pooping on the Potty
Yesterday afternoon I heard the ding of a new text message as I was sitting in our school library, attempting to grade an essay. “Good news,” my dad wrote, “Tommy pooped on the potty at preschool today. He is very proud of himself.” “That’s incredible!” I texted back. Seconds later, I had the immediate thought that I should text Shawn. It’s a reflex that’s still there months after it should have ended. I don’t ever actually start texting him, but the moment where I think, “I cannot wait to tell Shawn about this,” always occurs when something like this happens with our kids. I didn’t text him. But I did…
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My Flawed Husband
I love reading things written by other widows. Even short Facebook posts are helpful for me because they remind me that I’m not the only one experiencing loss and that my feelings are not actually that bizarre (thank you, Hot Young Widows Club!) Sometimes, I find a good blog and spend hours learning more about the experiences of someone else. This happened to me the other day, and I read all about a woman who also lost her spouse at a young age. Like me, she wrote about the life she shared with her husband and young kids. But there was one glaring difference. She did not post anything that…
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The Last Perfect Weekend
Last weekend, on three of the prettiest days of the spring, I found myself back in a place that I loved. I was cabin camping with my kids and our dear friends, a trip that we’ve done every six months for many years. Tommy climbed into my lap that afternoon and I rocked him in the rocking chair on the back porch of my cabin as I chatted with my friends. The other kids explored the forest and rode their bikes. One of the guys made us a batch of margaritas, and we toasted to a great weekend. Just about then, I looked down and realized that Tommy was asleep.…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
