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How to Host a Crappy Zoom Call
I hate Zoom. I mean, I also love it, of course. For many months I spent all day on Zoom talking to students and I can now use it with some ease to facilitate discussions and give lectures. That part is great. What I hate about it is that it’s pretty much the only way to connect with my friends right now. Sure, I could use FaceTime or Houseparty or whatever, but it’s all the same. It’s me looking at my friends via a screen. It just feels so….contrived. There I am, alone in my kitchen staring at my phone with one or more of my friend’s faces staring back…
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Three Grief Specialists to Follow Right Now
Maybe you’re grieving the loss of a spouse right now or maybe you’re grieving something else. I don’t know why everyone comes to my blog, but today, I want to highlight three Black women whose work focuses on grief, loss and healing. Their candid discussions are relevant for everyone, and as you’ll note, two of these women are also widows. You can find the links to their various social media pages and websites below. Sabra Robinson is a fellow widow who runs the website and podcast Black Women Widows Empowered. While her group was created specifically for Black and Brown widowed women, her work is relevant to anyone who is…
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Two Widow Books You Should Read Right Now
Over the past week, I’ve been asked by friends and readers whether I have any resources about widowhood and race. So today’s post is about two books I highly recommend: Black Widow, by Leslie Streeter and From Scratch, by Tembi Locke. In Black Widow, Leslie Streeter tells the story of the sudden death of her husband and the events that followed. But that’s not the whole book. In fact, she goes back to recount her early love story with her husband – one that was complicated by race and religion. One of the reasons I love her book so much is that she talks about so many difficult issues (where…
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My White Privilege
My heart sped up as I listened to Atlanta mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms speak last weekend: Let me just speak to what’s happening here today. Above everything else, I am a mother. I am a mother to four black children in America, one of whom is 18 years old. And when I saw the murder of George Floyd, I hurt like a mother would hurt. And on yesterday, when I heard there were rumors about violent protests in Atlanta, I did what a mother would do. I called my son and I said, ‘Where are you?’ I said, ‘I cannot protect you,’ and black boys shouldn’t be out today. My headspace…
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Just in Case
About 15 minutes before the end of my last class of the day, an email was sent out. I saw it pop up on my computer, and I knew: our school was closing too. The students didn’t know yet – they were engaged in a discussion about how the government should best address the outbreak of covid-19 – but I knew that quickly they would know from other students passing by the classroom. “I have to end this early,” I said to them. “We just got word that our school is going to close tomorrow, and I want to make sure I have time to say a few things to…
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Learning to Like Food…Again?
For much of my life, I claimed that I’d rather take a pill than eat a meal. My friends and my husband thought I was insane. “But food is so enjoyable!” they’d say to me, and point out all the fun restaurants in DC. I held firm. Yes, sometimes I enjoyed a good meal, but often, I just wanted to continue on with my day, uninterrupted by the need to eat. Part of this was being a busy mom who hated cooking things my kids wouldn’t eat. Part of this is the fact that I have a food allergy, which can make eating a bit scary. But still – my…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
