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In the Middle
By the second baseball game this season, I was feeling like a pretty rotten parent. Austin was striking out every single time he got up to bat, and though it was only third-grade baseball, I knew he was athletic enough to do better. It’s just that he hadn’t had any practice last summer. I should have helped him practice batting every once in a while. I should have thrown the ball with him. I read lots to Tommy over the summer, and I helped Claire improve both her gymnastics and running techniques. But I didn’t help Austin with anything, really. Austin is my middle kid, and in stereotypical fashion, he…
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When 5-Year-Olds Talk About Death
Last weekend, I drove Tommy and his best friend to a birthday party. They sat in the back seat, chatting about super heroes and I listened to their funny conversation. “When I grow up, I want to be The Flash,” Tommy said. “Ya!” his friend said. Then they brainstormed about how Tommy might achieve that goal. It involved eating a lot of funny food and learning special tricks. Their voices were high and sweet, full of excitement about the party and the potential for super hero powers. As Tommy was dreaming up ideas of what he could do if he became The Flash, he paused and seemed to think of…
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Another Year Without My Mom
Every year since I was 19, I’ve dreaded August 26th, as it’s the anniversary of my mom’s death. When my dad called to tell me she had died by suicide, I sank to the floor, unable to do anything but scream “tell me you are lying!” It was 1998 and I was just about ready to start my Sophomore year of college. I had my whole life ahead of me, and in that moment, everything changed. So when I looked at the calendar this year, I couldn’t believe what I saw. August 26th was going to fall on the first day of school. Okay, great, I thought. So this meant…
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What My Kids Need At School This Year
School starts tomorrow. I’m so nervous that I’m having a hard time sleeping. I know I shouldn’t be. My kids go to a great school. They know most of the kids who will be in their classes. Many adults in the building know their names and all three of them seem genuinely excited to start. I know they will learn. I’m always surprised at how much math they are able to do every year. I marvel at how impressive my daughter’s writing has become and the way that my older son can rattle off science statistics that I’d have to look up on Google. I love that my 5-year-old can…
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The Bear
I was downstairs making dinner when I heard my children screaming. This, in itself, is not a unique experience, as any parent can tell you. But they were hysterical, so I went upstairs to investigate. Claire met me first. “BEAR!!!” she screamed, unable to say anything else. I came into the room where the kids were gathered with their cousins, and their screams overwhelmed me. “BEAR! BEAR! BEAR!” they all yelled at the same time. I looked out the window and couldn’t see anything. Yes, we were staying in a cabin in the woods in Virginia, and yes, it was pretty wild out here. But….a bear? My brother-in-law went outside…
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“My Dad Died in the War”
The other day, Tommy had over a friend for a few hours. They spent much of the time playing some sort of game where they were both soldiers and tried to “get” each other. I wasn’t really paying attention to them, but then I heard Tommy say, “my dad died in the war.” I turned to him. “Your dad didn’t die in the war,” I said. “Yes he did!” Tommy said back to me. “Why do you think that he died in the war?” I asked. “Well, dad was in the army, and he died, so he died in the war!” he said emphatically. I sat down and explained to…