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No Ma’am
I came home from work yesterday to find three ladders in my back yard. They extended from my property across the fence and onto my neighbor’s roof. I did not put them there, but my dad reported that the workers next door had done it without asking. My kids were running wild near the ladders and I started screaming that they needed to go inside. I mean, take a look at that cover picture – it’s pretty insane. I tried texting my neighbors, but I couldn’t immediately reach them. I barely know them anyway, as they bought the house a few months before Shawn got sick and still haven’t moved…
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20 Years
Two decades ago, a woman I barely knew shook me awake. I was staying with a friend on one of my days off as a camp counselor, and I had gone to bed early only to be awoken at dawn by my friend’s mother. “Your father is on the phone,” she said to me. I was disoriented, but went to the kitchen to pick up the phone. “Hello?” “Marjorie,” my dad said. I knew something was wrong immediately by the tone of his voice. And then he said the words that would change my life forever. “Your mother killed herself last night.” “No,” I said, “no, no, no!” I fell…
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Running With Anger
I may have mentioned it once or twice but just in case you didn’t know, this summer has been really hard on me. Mostly, it’s been exhausting from the combination of a thousand marker events (like Shawn’s birthday) and the toll that single parenting has taken on me. I hope I never have another summer like this one. So many people have helped me but no matter how many people do, I continue to be totally overwhelmed. I think this is why I need to run almost every day. Usually, I do it on my treadmill, but sometimes I am lucky and I get to go outside. Last week, while visiting friends,…
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A Beautiful Day
Is there anything worse than crying in the middle of a really beautiful day? I’m talking about a really beautiful day. You know what I mean. Those perfect days, where the temperature is just right and there’s fun music coming from over the neighbor’s fence and you can smell someone grilling? The kind of day that we all live for – the kind of day where you say, “Isn’t it great to be alive?” I used to have that feeling a lot. I can’t count the number of times I’ve said that exact phrase, “Isn’t it great to be alive?” and truly meant it. Now I just feel grateful to…
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Who’s Saving Our Basement? (Part 2)
DC has been getting a LOT of rain. My sister came to visit a week ago, and we had grand plans to go to the pool and the zoo and on all sorts of fun adventures. Instead, we’ve been stuck inside having marathon dance parties and playing laser tag. Even for two girls from Oregon, this rain was too much. Wednesday night, I invited over a few friends for some food and a break from the rain-filled monotony of the day. It was pouring. The kids ran around playing laser tag and we drank wine, marveling at the intensity of the rainstorm. I think I was in the middle of…
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Why Being a Widowed Single Mom is So Hard
I realize the title of this post could be an entire book. There are like 1000 reasons why being a widowed single mom is so hard. Today, however, I think I may have narrowed it down to one. The day started out like many days have started out in the past 6 months. I woke up before the kids, came downstairs for some coffee and to prep the amazing amount of things that my kids need for their days. My kids have learned to help each other, because they get that mom cannot possibly do everything they need. So Austin went and got Tommy his clothes for the day and…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
