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What About the Privilege?
The thing about being a writer is that – shockingly! – not everyone is going to like everything that you write. Sometimes people write me privately and sometimes they comment on my blog. Almost always, I let negative comments on my blog stay, because it’s important that I hear other people’s opinions, especially other widows. (I do delete vitriolic comments, because no one needs that.) Anyway, I wrote this post a few days ago about tough love, thinking that I was being thought-provoking about how to treat people who are in the early days of grieving. I talked about all of the support I had received, which I’ve documented on…
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Dear Insurance Company
Dear Insurance Company, I read the letter that came last night. I saw the six single-spaced pages of documentation that was clearly written by a lawyer with my daughter’s name automatically inserted into the form. I can see the word “denied” at least four times in the first few paragraphs. I understand what you are saying. I spoke to the people on your end. I know that the woman who answered the phone is just doing her job. I appreciated that when I told her I was a single mom who couldn’t pay (many) tens of thousands of dollars out-of-pocket, she put me on hold to try and find an…
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Tough Love
I read a lot of things about grief, much of it online. There are some really great websites that deal with grief (like Modern Loss) and also a ton of Facebook/Reddit/Instagram/Twitter resources and forums. In a lot of these places, people come together to say something like, “I lost a person I love and cry every day. How did other people cope?” I almost never post in these forums. I love that there are places on the internet where people can go for support, but I would rather rely on the support I get from my blog readers and my in-person friends and family. Sometimes I do post an encouraging…
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2020 Vision
I’ve always loved New Year’s Resolutions. I love the idea that I am striving for something new, looking to constantly improve, and taking on a new challenge. One year, when I was in my 20s, I made a resolution to visit a dozen new countries. Another year, when my kids were all really small, I aimed to cook a real dinner every other night. In 2017, Shawn and I both decided that we were going to throw more parties and spend more time with our friends. 2017 was my last year of New Year’s Resolutions. When people would talk about resolutions in 2018, I merely said, “my goal is to…
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Sometimes You Superglue It
The thing about breathing is that it’s essential for living on this planet, so when you start having problems with breathing, everyone freaks out. It was small at first. I could run and breathe just fine, but I’d feel a tightness in my chest when I was drifting off to sleep. I’d be okay when I was teaching, but the moment I sat down to write I felt like I couldn’t take a full breath. I told my dad about it, and he listened to my heart and my lungs. “It’s nothing,” he said. My dad always says, “it’s nothing.” One of the few times he said otherwise was just…
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Year of Yes Revisited
2019 was the “Year of Yes“. Or at least that’s what I wanted it to be. 2018 had been the year of cancer and death and survival. It was terrible, and all I wanted to do was fast-forward through the year. When 2019 arrived, I thought, “okay, it’s time to actually live this life I’ve been given.” And the way I was going to do that was to try everything. Could I run further than the three miles I usually ran? Maybe just an extra mile, or maybe three or four more? I could. Could I let go a little, take a risk and try out a new man? And…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
