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Just Because Your Husband Dies, You Don’t Necessarily Get the Job
I’ve mentioned it in other posts, but just in case you haven’t been following along closely: I applied for a new job at my school last month. I found out last Friday that I didn’t get it. To her credit, the principal told me herself. She didn’t beat around the bush, and she was thoughtful in the way that she told me. But those words, “we don’t have a position for you at this time,” almost crushed me in that moment. I understood that there were a dozen people applying for the same job, but I thought I had a good shot. And somewhere in the back of my mind…
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Salsa in my Cup
Two years ago, Shawn and I threw a party that was particularly crazy. We didn’t really mean for the party to get so wild. We just wanted to have a few friends over to celebrate the year and toast our successes, failures, and ability to have merely survived. As I remember, we were still reeling from the 2016 election, because that was the election that was supposed to have meant a big, important job for Shawn and ultimately didn’t pan out that way. Instead, we threw a party. Somehow, we all had way too much wine, in the way that you can when you aren’t really trying to have too…
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Decorating for Christmas
My front yard looks like something out of one of those bad Christmas movies. I’m serious. There are lights randomly strewn about, two fake deer, a dozen solar-powered candy canes and two massive inflatable figures – a snowman and a Santa. I bought none of this stuff – it was all Shawn. Last year, he set it all up even though he was in the emergency room less than 24 hours later. I know he worried that I wouldn’t be able to figure out the wiring system he used, and he had very specific ideas about how the lights should look. When I think back on it, I remember him…
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Santa Shawn
I can’t actually remember why we decided to throw our first Christmas party, but I do remember this: Shawn was adamant that he was going to dress up like Santa for it. He spent hours scouring the internet for the perfect outfit and he even bought new shoes and tiny fake eyeglasses. He tried on the outfit before the party and decided that his dark eyebrows gave him away, so he went to the drugstore and bought a white makeup pencil which he used to color in his eyebrows. He took it all very seriously. “You know the kids are TWO,” I told him, “so you don’t have to do all this. …
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Lockdown
For many years, when we did lockdown drills at school, I always texted Shawn to tell him about it. Last week, I sat through my first drill without him.
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Shawn’s Cancer Humor
Throughout his cancer diagnosis and treatment, Shawn maintained a sense of humor. It's one of the things I remember best about him.
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
