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Homework with Austin
A few weeks ago, Claire came upstairs, clearly upset. “Austin is doing a terrible job with his homework!” she exclaimed. I was puzzled. “Claire,” I said, “Austin is in third grade. He’s just figuring out how to do homework.” She insisted I come and see his homework. The assignment was to write about a subject in school that he liked. “Look!” Claire said, pointing at his paper. Austin had written about all of the subjects he didn’t like instead. “This will hurt his teacher’s feelings!” Claire said. I was pretty sure Austin’s teacher had thicker skin than that. She is a great teacher and Austin adores her, even if he…
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My Name is Marjorie…
Scrolling through dating apps can get really boring. Sure, for the first few minutes, it’s exciting. All these men, here in DC…and they are all actually single! But after a few minutes, they all kinda start to look the same. I mean, they look different, of course, but the pithy statements about their favorite restaurants or weekend runs get a bit old. Yes, I like to read the New York Times just like these guys, but what does that fact really tell me about a person? That he’s educated? That he likes journalists? Or that he just wants me to think that he’s the type of person who reads the…
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Grant Showed Us the Way
Below is a piece by my friend and neighbor, Mark. He tells the story of how his son Grant and my son Austin became close friends in the time after Shawn’s death. He begins his story as Shawn is in the hospital. Marjorie was surrounded by best friends and family, which was somewhat of a relief. We were just neighbors who mostly found each other in the adjoining alley where our kids played basketball and learned to ride bikes. The last time Marjorie and I spoke was about three weeks before the service. There still was hope that Shawn would survive. I brought meatballs and pasta for the week. After…
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In the Middle
By the second baseball game this season, I was feeling like a pretty rotten parent. Austin was striking out every single time he got up to bat, and though it was only third-grade baseball, I knew he was athletic enough to do better. It’s just that he hadn’t had any practice last summer. I should have helped him practice batting every once in a while. I should have thrown the ball with him. I read lots to Tommy over the summer, and I helped Claire improve both her gymnastics and running techniques. But I didn’t help Austin with anything, really. Austin is my middle kid, and in stereotypical fashion, he…
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What Austin Brought to Camp
On Saturday, I helped Austin pack for camp. We went through the extensive list of things he needed, and near the end, I pointed to his toiletry bag. “Austin, you have a toothbrush, toothpaste and some soap,” I said. “What else do you think you’ll need for the bathroom?” Austin looked at the bag and then at his body. “Nothing,” he said, and shrugged. “Actually, I probably won’t even use most of the soap.” I laughed, though he wasn’t trying to make a joke. He is really low-maintenance. It’s one of the many ways that Austin is just like his dad. (Once, about 6 or 7 years ago, Shawn went…
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Lost
Getting lost in a foreign country is never a good idea. It happened to me all the time before I started traveling with Shawn. I’d be somewhere by myself, in a country where I didn’t speak the language, and I’d realize that I was lost. I always managed to find my way home, though sometimes this meant that I lost a whole day of traveling or, worse, made some dubious decisions like getting in cars with strangers. But once I met Shawn we never got lost. On our first big trip we went to Vietnam (which wasn’t actually that far, as we were living in Japan) and there was a…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
