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A New Look for DC Widow
If you’ve been a reader for a long time, first of all, thank you. Maybe you’ve read since the beginning, or maybe since I published that article in Vox about dating that sent a number of young widows to this blog. Or maybe you just lost your spouse and just started reading and if that’s you, I’m sending you a virtual hug. Hang in there. I promise it gets easier. Over the past three-and-a-half years (and over 500 posts!) I’ve learned a lot. I’ve grown up, as a mother and a teacher and a widow and a human, and I’ve gone from writing a blog that’s singularly about me and…
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Someday, I’ll Watch Him Die (500th Blog Post)
“I’m so sorry,” the clerk said, handing the papers back to me, “but this won’t work. It’s a copy, and we need the original death certificate in order to issue you a marriage license.” She nodded sympathetically as I sighed. My heart sank. I knew it wasn’t a big deal, really, because we still had time to get all the paperwork together. I knew that part of marriage is just getting the contract in order, and that had nothing to do with love. I knew we could eventually get everything sorted. I was still totally overwhelmed in that moment. We’d come to the town hall in Chris’s hometown in Maine,…
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The Clark Family, Part 2
I was a bit nervous the week before my family’s 4th of July reunion. If I’m being honest, I got so nervous at one point that I had a hard time sleeping. It’s not a new feeling for me. Much of early widowhood (at least a year and a half!) was filled with sleepless nights, and just after I felt like I was really settling into life as a young widow, the pandemic hit. But this recent sleeplessness was not because of the pandemic – everyone in my family who could be vaccinated had been, and we took all the precautions we could for the little ones. Rather, my sleeplessness…
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What Are You? (Father’s Day, 2021)
Below is a post that was written by my partner, Chris. While I wish he would write more often, he feels that this blog is mine and so he usually wants to stay in the background. But I managed to convince him to write something recently, and it struck me as a perfect great Father’s Day post. It’s about love, loss and what it means to become a father. Those of you who know Marjorie, know that she is nothing if not direct. Never one to shy away from offering her opinion, I’ll often find myself on the receiving end of a talk-shouted “That’s dumb. Don’t do that” from across…
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Ask a Widow: What About the In-Laws?
Ok, I’m now going to answer a hot-button topic that widows write me about ALL THE TIME – yes, it’s the subject of in-laws! At least once a month, someone contacts me and asks what to do about their late spouse’s family. Sometimes, they want to know how to make sure they will still get invited to family gatherings, and that’s an easy answer for me – just tell them! (Sample wording: “I know it might seem strange to still have me over for Thanksgiving, but it would mean a lot for me to join you. I’d be happy to bring dessert!”) But some stuff is….trickier. Here’s an example taken…
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Single Parenting, Not Solo Parenting
If you’re a widow with young kids, I bet you’ve heard the argument surrounding solo vs. single parenting. But for those of you who don’t know, it’s a debate that’s not just about semantics. Here’s the key question: Are widowed parents “single parents”, or should we use the term “solo parents”? Single parenting, the argument goes, includes many types of people. A single parent might be a divorced parent, who sees their children only half of the time. The term “single parent” is also sometimes used by parents who are alone with their kids for stretches of time (days or weeks or longer) while their partner is working somewhere else.…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
