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Running With Anger
I may have mentioned it once or twice but just in case you didn’t know, this summer has been really hard on me. Mostly, it’s been exhausting from the combination of a thousand marker events (like Shawn’s birthday) and the toll that single parenting has taken on me. I hope I never have another summer like this one. So many people have helped me but no matter how many people do, I continue to be totally overwhelmed. I think this is why I need to run almost every day. Usually, I do it on my treadmill, but sometimes I am lucky and I get to go outside. Last week, while visiting friends,…
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That Poor Girl
Right after Shawn’s funeral, I was standing in the church greeting people, when I heard someone around me say, “Oh, that poor girl.” I was in a deep fog, and so I didn’t really think much of it. I was also standing with Claire, so it’s possible whomever said it was talking about her. But for some reason, it’s one of the things I remember from the line at the church. Isn’t that odd? Of all the things to stick in my head, that was one of them. I started to think about it the other day, and it made me remember my mom’s funeral, and something that happened there. …
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The Power of the Word “Widow”
A few weeks ago, I heard through friends that the General Manager of Millie’s, our favorite neighborhood restaurant, had died after being shot a few weeks prior. He left behind a wife and baby. I didn’t know them, but I can’t stop thinking about his family. Many people I know posted things on social media or shared text messages about what had happened. Everyone expressed sympathy for his wife. I reached out to a few friends who knew her, offering condolences and any help I could offer when she’s ready. But you know what I felt for her? Sympathy. “It’s so awful,” I said to my sister. “Another young widow.”…
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A Review of “A Widow’s Guide to Healing”
I went on Amazon the other day and put in “widow book.” Now that I’m emerging – just a tiny bit – from the fog of the first few months, I’m trying to figure out how to make my life work. I’ve been reading everything I can get my hands on about loss and grief. I talk to everyone and I keep going to different types of therapy. I know there’s no magic answer, but I figure it can’t hurt to just try everything I can to help ease the pain. Anyway, Amazon recommended this book called, “A Widow’s Guide to Healing,” and so I bought it. I’ve spent the…
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An Uncomfortable Reality
A few days ago I was waiting to pick up Claire from school, baking under the newly hot weather we’re getting these days. I was standing around with all of the other parents and babysitters and somehow ended up next to an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in awhile. “Oh, Marjorie,” she said to me, “I haven’t seen you since….everything happened. How are you doing?” I didn’t quite know how to respond. Was I not supposed to talk about Shawn’s death since she couldn’t bring herself to mention it? I had always liked this woman, and though we weren’t close, her kids had been in class with mine. And yet she…
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Who Am I?
Last night, a friend of mine flew in from out of town and we had dinner. We met up on 14th street and both marveled about how much it had changed from when we were in our 20s and roaming around on a Saturday night. We had a great meal and got caught up with each other. But at this point in time, dinner with me is never just one where I gossip with my friends. It’s almost always a pretty intense affair. I think when I start talking about my life, it also brings out the serious side in some of my friends as well. As we ate our…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
