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Speed Dating
“Are you all planning on wearing your wedding rings?” It was an innocent question coming from a friend of mine, another young widow named Alexi. In a few hours, we were slated to meet up with a few other young widows for a night on the town. We discussed the issue at length, eventually deciding that wearing a ring at a dating event would be pretty weird. Especially because we’d have little time to explain our complicated histories, as we were going speed dating. Yes, speed dating. Believe it or not, it still exists. Invented almost 20 years ago by a rabbi, speed dating is exactly what you think it…
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The Warmth of Home
Every day during the week leading up to Thanksgiving, Tommy asked me, “is it time to go to the grandparents’ house yet?” He’s too little to understand the days of the week, so I’d just tell him how many more days there were to go until we left on our trip. But he was so excited that he’d forget the next morning, and ask me again. One morning, when I told him there were still two more days to go and that he needed to be patient, he laughed a little bit and said, “I’m just so excited to go to the grandparents’ house!” The thing was, we weren’t actually…
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Just Marjorie and the Hash Run
I am trying new things. I mean, my whole life is about trying new things: learning to fix things around my house and grill for my kids and maintain a handle on my finances. But what I mean is that I’m trying new things that I don’t have to do. I’m experimenting with new recipes. I’m going out with men who aren’t typically my cup of tea. And of course, I’m running. Last week, I tried something really new: a hash run. For those of you who’ve never heard of a hash run, do not worry that you are out of the loop – until a friend suggested I do…
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Home Base
In the spring of 2016, I went to a party with Shawn at Momofuku. The firm that had invited Shawn to the event had rented out the entire restaurant. The night before, we had been talking about our upcoming days, and he said, “I’ll be a little bit late. I have to go to this thing at some new restaurant.” The second I found out it was Momofuku, I freaked out and immediately began texting babysitters. “I’m coming too!” I told him. Shawn always loved that I liked his parties more than he did. I would spend the evenings trying new food and drinking with the most interesting people. Frequently,…
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Do This, Because You Are Her Friend
Let’s say you have a female friend that’s you’ve known for a number of years (and it could be a man, but for simplicity’s sake, let’s imagine it’s a woman.) One day, her husband falls ill and soon after, he dies. She is bereft, and also needs to figure out how to afford her house payments, continue with her career and care for her young children. In the initial days, you knew what to do. Maybe you didn’t know what to say but you knew what to do. Bring food, lots of it. Donate to an online campaign to pay for funeral expenses. Offer to pick up her kids from…
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“It Hurt for Me”
I see my therapist once a week. We talk about my life and how to reframe things that are difficult for me. I like my therapist. But an hour a week is really not enough to help me. I think I’d probably need to see her every single day for the amount of therapy I need. Since I can’t do that, I often end up relying on my friends. Last week, I had a particularly difficult day. I think it was because I was thinking a lot about Mother’s Day (why are holidays still SO difficult?) and trying to deal with the logistics of school winding down. It was just…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
