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Happiness Is For Other People
“I need space,” he said. “I need to see you,” you replied. “I need time,” he said. “I need to see you,” you replied again. He pulled. You pushed. It became clear that it was ending and yet you held on to the hope that it was not. “Please don’t let this fall apart,” you thought. Maybe you even said it out loud. But it was over. That brief affair, the one that had helped you through the darkest days of winter, was fading as the spring approached. And you were heartbroken. Your friends tried to console you. “You will find love again,” they said. But they didn’t know. They…
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“It Hurt for Me”
I see my therapist once a week. We talk about my life and how to reframe things that are difficult for me. I like my therapist. But an hour a week is really not enough to help me. I think I’d probably need to see her every single day for the amount of therapy I need. Since I can’t do that, I often end up relying on my friends. Last week, I had a particularly difficult day. I think it was because I was thinking a lot about Mother’s Day (why are holidays still SO difficult?) and trying to deal with the logistics of school winding down. It was just…
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The Little Things
Right after Shawn died, I was talking to a girlfriend of mine about how I missed going out to dinner. “We can go out anytime,” she said. “If it’s easier, we can just go out with all of the women.” She was trying to be compassionate. She understood that it could be hard for me to go out with a group of couples, especially so recently after Shawn died. But I didn’t want that, and I told her so. The men in our group – they are my friends too. I appreciated that she was trying to be mindful of my feelings. But what I appreciated even more was that…
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A Brutal Few Weeks
I’m not sure how to say this any other way, but it’s been a brutal few weeks for me. Of course, healing from tragic loss is not linear. Every therapist loves to tell me that, and I believe it. Some days are terrible, some days are not, and there’s no specific progression. In January, and for about six months afterwards, I felt really sad about my life. I felt like I might never be happy again, because how could I be? But then, I started to see some hope. I had days when I felt good for much of the time, and I began to envision the future. I couldn’t…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
