• Hand writing a letter to DC widow blogger Marjorie Brimley and her daughter
    Family & Friends

    The Letter

    The letter arrived in the mail a few weeks ago.  It was addressed to me.  Inside, I found two notes from an old friend of Shawn’s – someone he knew in university who we’d kept up with over the years. “I wrote a note to Claire,” the first note said, “and I want you to look over it and see if it’s okay for her to read.” I opened up the next piece of paper.  Inside was a 2-page typed letter addressed to my daughter.  “Dear Claire,” it began, “You might not remember me, but I have heard about you since you were born. Your father Shawn and I were…

  • Christmas presents like the ones delivered to the house of DC Widow Marjorie Brimley and family
    Holidays

    Christmas Eve

    A few days ago, I was scrolling through Facebook and saw someone complaining that her child had just radically changed his Christmas list.  “He wants a dozen laser tag guns now!  And I just finished all of the wrapping!” the person whined. I get it.  These small details can be annoying when we have a million things going on.  But do you know what it made me realize? At that point, five days before Christmas, I had purchased just one present for each of my children.  ONE. Last year it wasn’t like this at all.  I planned ahead and bought most of my presents in November, so when Shawn was…

  • Inflatable Santa in the yard of DC widow Marjorie Brimley
    Holidays

    Decorating for Christmas

    My front yard looks like something out of one of those bad Christmas movies.  I’m serious.  There are lights randomly strewn about, two fake deer, a dozen solar-powered candy canes and two massive inflatable figures – a snowman and a Santa.  I bought none of this stuff – it was all Shawn. Last year, he set it all up even though he was in the emergency room less than 24 hours later.  I know he worried that I wouldn’t be able to figure out the wiring system he used, and he had very specific ideas about how the lights should look.  When I think back on it, I remember him…

  • Marjorie Brimley and her children during the summer after she became a widow
    Holidays

    Joy!

    When Shawn and I got engaged, I sent out my first holiday cards. I was 24, but I felt like such a grown-up. On the card, we joyfully held each other with the sun setting in the distance. Honestly, when I look back at it, I think about how cheesy it looks. But in 2003 I thought it was amazing. I’ve always sent out holiday cards, and over the years, our list of recipients grew to over a hundred families. Part of the reason I enjoyed sending out cards was that I loved getting cards back from my friends. I hung them up in my house for months, and they…

  • Holidays

    Thanksgiving

    Three years ago, we spent Thanksgiving break with our friends Becky and Josh in an old farmhouse in Delaware owned by Josh’s family. All of our kids were really little and so we spent a lot of time dealing with their needs, but we also drank wine and sat around the dinner table each night for many hours. One night, we spent much of the evening talking about Josh’s brother, Chris, and the teenage antics he pulled during his gap year between high school and college. Josh’s mom told a particularly funny story about Chris and we all laughed and laughed. I remember thinking later how amazing it was that…

  • Marjorie Brimley's sons, Austin and Tommy, read a book in DC room
    Parenting

    Report Cards

    My kids came home this week with their first term report cards. I opened them up and braced myself. Last year’s report cards were decent, but Claire struggled academically in math and Austin sometimes shut down in big groups. I figured that those flaws were okay because, well, if they were managing to just attend school, that struck me as a win for the year. But this year’s report cards were great. I mean, no one is going to Harvard tomorrow, but both of my big kids are on grade level and doing things like “respecting the rights of others.” Austin “has a large peer group and enjoys interacting with…