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“It’s a Journey”
If there’s one thing that people love to say to widows, it’s this phrase: “It’s a journey!” I’ve heard this statement in so many different widow-related contexts, it’s hard to count. Sometimes, there’s a softness in the voice of someone saying it, as you cry and try to imagine the day when you aren’t sobbing every fifteen minutes. Sometimes, you hear it from a friend as you try to organize the many boxes of your late spouse’s stuff, a gentle reminder that you don’t have to do it all at once. But the time when people liked to say it to me the most was when I started dating. Because…
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Ask a Widow: Dating is Hard When You Try to Predict the Future
I’ve said it before, but I’ll repeat it again: people write to me all the time about dating. Usually, I get private messages on my blog or my social media pages. The questions range from the existential (“does it mean I don’t still love my late husband if I want to date?”) to the mundane (“what’s the best dating website for widows?”) I try and answer the questions as best I can, but I’m no expert. I’m merely someone who has written openly about my own experience. Often, readers give me their backstory before asking me about dating. It might go something like this: My husband and I were married…
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Ask a Widow: What’s So Hard With Online Dating?
Today’s “Ask a Widow” column comes from a comment I hear from a lot of people, most of whom are not online dating. It goes something like this: “you’re lucky to be dating in the digital age. Think of how many people you can meet online!”I know it’s meant to be encouraging. But I usually respond with some sort of comment about how dating is never easy, and that online dating is even more challenging than regular dating. This usually surprises people and often leads to the next question, the one I’m going to answer today: What’s so hard with online dating? If you are a widow who is trying…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
