-
How Did You Cope?
Three times a week, I pour out my emotions on this blog and I tell the world exactly what’s on my mind. Last year, I got a lot of texts/calls/emails from friends and family after certain blog posts. But lately, I’ve started to hear more from people I don’t know. I get messages from people who’ve read my articles and found my blog and want to connect. Sometimes I write back, and sometimes I don’t. (If you want to know who I don’t write back to, let me say this: my blog is not a dating site. Please do not write me and ask me to go on a date…
-
What (Not) to Say in Crisis
Right after Shawn died, lots of people tried to say things to me that were supposed to be comforting. Most of these sayings reminded me of Hallmark cards, even if they were heartfelt (i.e. “I’m thinking of you in this difficult time.”) Other times, people stumbled over their words, trying to find the right thing to say. Sometimes, people said nothing at all. (As a note, I think saying nothing at all is the worst. Better to mess up and say something annoying/imperfect than to ignore a terrible situation. Even if it’s been a year or two and you still haven’t said anything to someone who’s grieving, you can do…
-
Angry
I am a bit of a hothead lately. Well, at least compared to my previous self. I’ve always been a somewhat emotional person, but anger wasn’t something I often felt. Sure, I’d get frustrated when Shawn did something like leave dirty dishes in the sink when he left for work. I can remember thinking how “angry” I was at him. But I wasn’t really angry. I was irritated. So all of this anger I’ve been feeling lately – well, that’s something that’s relatively new for me. I feel angry much more often than I ever did when Shawn was alive. To be fair, I’m not screaming at random people in…
-
He Pushed the Button
The call came out over the loudspeaker. “If there’s a physician on the plane, can you please press your call button?” My dad put down his book and pressed the button. The flight attendant came over. “Are you a doctor?” she asked. “I am,” he said. She told him he was needed in the front, and he followed her up there. My dad was en route to Texas for a week-long break. He was going to play golf with his brother and his friends. He would also get to see our extended family. He’d spent the past two months caring for my kids without so much as a glimpse at…
-
It Might Not Happen For Me
I love podcasts. So did Shawn. We used to put them on in the morning to get caught up with the day’s news and we used to listen to really engaging ones in the evening together. One time when he was going through this big health kick, he made me listen to a multi-hour podcast on the dangers of sugar by a martial-arts expert. I rolled my eyes a lot at that one, but we ended up talking about it for days afterwards. For a while after Shawn died, I couldn’t listen to any of our old podcasts. I still liked listening to other people talk, but I switched to…
-
Thestrals
After years of reading terrible books like Captain Underpants, Austin finally showed interest in starting the Harry Potter series. A few months ago, we began reading the first book, and we’ve progressively moved through the story. It’s a compelling one, with characters and themes that are far beyond those easily understandable by a 7-year-old. One of the magical creatures that appears in the series is a thestral. I had to actually look up the definition of this bat-like, horse-shaped creature online, and once I did I remembered that it was a special kind of supernatural being: the thestral is only visible to people who’ve seen someone die and accepted that…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
