• DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley laughs with her friend
    Family & Friends

    The 5 Friends a Widow Needs

    I’ve been thinking a lot about my friends lately, especially because I don’t get to see them in person very often. Yes, sometimes I’ll pass someone on a walk a catch up for a moment, and yes, I do like to connect virtually. But as we all know, it’s not really the same as having a group of people gathered around your kitchen island, drinking beer and making chili and laughing about the week. I’ve also been remembering all of the support they have provided me over the past two and a half years. There are so many ways that my friends have kept me afloat that it’s hard to…

  • Girl with backpack in city scene like DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley
    Ask A Widow

    Ask a Widow: Navigating Friendships

    “My friend stopped calling me.” “I feel left out.” “It’s not the same with that group anymore.” One thing that I hear often from my readers is how often other relationships change after the death of a spouse. Yes, you’ve lost your partner, but when the fog clears and you can manage to have a conversation with some of your old friends, it’s sometimes surprising when things just don’t seem the same. It can be hard to put your finger on what’s actually changed in your other relationships, but it is something many widows experience. (I remember thinking, “am I imagining this?”) When Shawn died, I initially didn’t care much…

  • DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley smiles in black and white photo with friends Becky and Michelle
    Family & Friends

    Ministry of Presence

    My friend Kumar is a pastor.  As part of his work, he runs a bereavement group, and we meet up sometimes to talk about loss and how to help people make meaning of their lives.  One day, I was telling him about some of the things that people had done for me after Shawn died, and he said, “we call that the ministry of presence.” I liked that phrase, so I asked him to tell me more.  He said the following, The basic idea is this – as a pastor, you can preach a good sermon, but in the end, did you go on the journey with your parishioners?  You…

  • Taxi at night similar to one taken by DC widow Marjorie in story
    New Perspectives

    “Go To the Hospital”

    The other night, I was taking a cab home with a couple of friends. Our driver was young and friendly, and we started talking to him about his life. He was upset that he had planned a fun weekend trip for his girlfriend and she had been ignoring his texts and calls all day. “Maybe she’s just busy,” someone offered. “Maybe,” he said, “but I think she’s mad.” We chatted more about their relationship and the many plans they had for their immediate future. I smiled at my friends. I knew they were also thinking how adorably innocent this guy was. “Do you think I should call her?” he asked…