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Old Places, New Meanings
There is a farm where the earth is flat and the grass is brown this time of year, but the fireplace is so warm that it’s hard to stay awake next to it. Up above, the birds fly in large flocks, and even when I’m out on a long run, I can see the house in the distance, glowing. The house is old and creaky, with pipes that mostly work and bookshelves that hold generations of memories. It is a place where you can curl up with a blanket all afternoon, just like we both have done over the years. It is a place that I have loved for many…
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The Top 5 Reasons Thanksgiving Can Really Blow for Widows
For years and years, whenever anyone would ask me what my favorite holiday was, I’d reply, “Thanksgiving!” It’s true. I’ve always loved gathering with family and friends, cooking all day and staying up late telling stories. In fact, for much of the first decade of our marriage, Shawn and I hosted Thanksgiving at our house every year. Usually we had at least 25 people, and sometimes many more. It was always one of my favorite days of the year. Even once we pared down our celebration and sometimes traveled to be with family and friends, it was still the holiday that I looked forward to more than any other. But…
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Water and Fire
The first Thanksgiving we spent without Shawn was really hard. We were with our dear friends Josh and Becky, out on Josh’s family farm, surrounded by people who loved us. But it felt heavy. And I was Just. So. Tired. One of the nights, Tommy woke up at 2 am, crying about something, and I couldn’t comfort him. Eventually, I brought him into my bed where he calmed down, his snotty face resting against my chest. I stayed awake for a long time, thinking about how I was the only person who could comfort him. Yes, there was a whole household of people there who loved him, but there was…
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The Exploding Whale
Yesterday, an old friend alerted me that it was the 50th anniversary of the exploding whale video. I laughed to myself as I searched for the video. “Kids!” I said loudly, “come in the kitchen and watch this video. It was one of dad’s favorites!” I clicked on YouTube and there it was: the exploding whale video. (For your amusement, I’ll link it here, but since it’s kind of gross I won’t embed it. For a description: a dead whale washed up on an Oregon beach in the 1970s and the authorities decided to use dynamite to blow it up. It did not go as planned.) The kids watched with…
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The Warmth of Home
Every day during the week leading up to Thanksgiving, Tommy asked me, “is it time to go to the grandparents’ house yet?” He’s too little to understand the days of the week, so I’d just tell him how many more days there were to go until we left on our trip. But he was so excited that he’d forget the next morning, and ask me again. One morning, when I told him there were still two more days to go and that he needed to be patient, he laughed a little bit and said, “I’m just so excited to go to the grandparents’ house!” The thing was, we weren’t actually…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
