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Three Grief Specialists to Follow Right Now
Maybe you’re grieving the loss of a spouse right now or maybe you’re grieving something else. I don’t know why everyone comes to my blog, but today, I want to highlight three Black women whose work focuses on grief, loss and healing. Their candid discussions are relevant for everyone, and as you’ll note, two of these women are also widows. You can find the links to their various social media pages and websites below. Sabra Robinson is a fellow widow who runs the website and podcast Black Women Widows Empowered. While her group was created specifically for Black and Brown widowed women, her work is relevant to anyone who is…
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Two Widow Books You Should Read Right Now
Over the past week, I’ve been asked by friends and readers whether I have any resources about widowhood and race. So today’s post is about two books I highly recommend: Black Widow, by Leslie Streeter and From Scratch, by Tembi Locke. In Black Widow, Leslie Streeter tells the story of the sudden death of her husband and the events that followed. But that’s not the whole book. In fact, she goes back to recount her early love story with her husband – one that was complicated by race and religion. One of the reasons I love her book so much is that she talks about so many difficult issues (where…
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In My Driveway
There he was, standing in my driveway. He was leaning just slightly against the garage door, grinning at me. I hadn’t seen him in over a month, and it took a moment to sink in. How was he here? He was supposed to be far, far away. How was he actually standing in my driveway? But there he was. And within a second, I knew it wasn’t a dream. I knew he was real and I knew he had come for me. I ran to him as fast as I could and I threw my arms around him. “How are you here?” I kept saying, as he laughed and I…
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Being Alone is Scary
One night in early February, as the wind whipped the trees so hard that they seemed to bend sideways, I laid in bed and tried to warm up my freezing toes. Life finally had a rhythm to it, and I was getting used to year three of widowhood. I thought about Valentine’s Day, and how it was around the corner, and I was still without a partner. This year, however, I was feeling a sense of peace about my singledom. I was still dating, but the urgency of finding someone new had abated. As I sat there writing and thinking, Tommy came to my door and then climbed into my…
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Which Box Do I Check?
Because this is a blog about my life and because I have very little shame, I’m going to let you in on a secret: I recently had laser hair removal. I won’t go into too many details, because it’s not relevant to this blog post, but suffice to say, it’s something I did this past winter, before we were all locked down in our houses. I’m not sharing this information because I am a chronic over-sharer (although I am, and Shawn certainly was too) or because I think all widows should get laser hair removal (do what you want with your body!) No, I’m sharing this information because of what…
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I’ll Be Paying People Back for Carpool When I’m 80
I was at a party a few months ago, and someone asked me how I was doing. I told her that I was okay, managing life day-by-day, and learning how to ask for a lot of help. “The thing about asking for help,” I said, “is that I have to ask people to do things for me knowing that I’ll never pay them back.” “Of course you do,” the woman said back. “It’s different, of course, but when I was working in government, I needed a lot of help with my kids. It’s been years, but I always say that I’ll be paying people back for carpool when I’m 80.”…
There’s No Handbook for How to Do This
