• child with mittens for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley
    Ask A Widow

    Ask a Widow: What About the In-Laws?

    Ok, I’m now going to answer a hot-button topic that widows write me about ALL THE TIME – yes, it’s the subject of in-laws! At least once a month, someone contacts me and asks what to do about their late spouse’s family. Sometimes, they want to know how to make sure they will still get invited to family gatherings, and that’s an easy answer for me – just tell them! (Sample wording: “I know it might seem strange to still have me over for Thanksgiving, but it would mean a lot for me to join you. I’d be happy to bring dessert!”) But some stuff is….trickier. Here’s an example taken…

  • Trees in fog for blog by DC widow Marjorie Brimley
    Ask A Widow

    Ask a Widow: Am I Moving Forward if I’m Still Angry?

    Answer: Yes. That’s my answer to the question “am I moving forward if I’m still angry?” It’s a question I get frequently from readers in one form or another. So many widows I know – both my friends and people I’ve met online – want desperately to move forward with their lives. (On the whole, most widows say they want to “move forward” rather than “move on,” since the latter seems to imply leaving behind all memory of the person who was lost.) Regardless of how a widow wants to define it, there often comes a point in a widow’s life when you begin to move beyond the initial loss.…

  • Sunrise on beach for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley
    Ask A Widow

    Ask a Widow: Is This a Good Idea?

    My “Ask a Widow” column was really just an experiment when I started it over a year ago. Did people actually want my advice? Wasn’t this blog supposed to just be about my life? But the questions came in – slowly at first, and then in increasing numbers as time went on. I heard from widows who just wanted to vent and non-widows who were trying to connect with widows and all sorts of people who couldn’t figure out what to do about parenting or work or finding love again. Sometimes the people who wrote me just wanted some hope (“please tell me if gets easier!”) but other times they…

  • Sunrise over a field for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley
    Ask A Widow

    Ask a Widow: How Long Does It Take To Feel Better?

    Six months. That’s how long it takes. But really, it’s a year. Or maybe a bit longer. It depends, really. What were the circumstances? What happened afterwards? How long were you together? Are you caring for young kids? Do you have community support? Of course, after someone dies, there’s no real answer to the question, “how long does it take to feel better?” It’s so individual. Furthermore, very few people get to the point where they never grieve again over the person that they lost. But I think when people write me and ask, “how long does it take to feel better?” they aren’t actually asking, “when will every speck…

  • DC widow blog writer Marjorie Brimley looks at partner Chris
    Ask A Widow

    Ask a Widow: Why is Sex So Complicated?

    Do you want to know what my most popular post of all time is? Take a guess. As you’re thinking, remember that I’ve written over 450 blog posts, many of them about intense grief, therapy, single parenting and finding new love. So….did you think of one you believe was really popular? Yes? Well….I bet you didn’t think it was one about sex. BUT IT IS! Yep, my most popular post of all time is “Ask a Widow: Yes, It’s Okay To Want To Have Sex Again,” from November, 2019. If somehow you haven’t read it (like Google Analytics tells me thousands (!) of people have), here’s an excerpt:  Just the…

  • Blurred therapist office for blog by DC widow writer Marjorie Brimley
    Ask A Widow

    Ask a Widow: Therapy and Grief

    Back in the early days of this blog, I spent a lot of time talking about therapy – therapy from my friends, therapy at my church, therapy with my widow friends, alternative therapies, and the therapy that I liked the best. Therapy was just a part of my life. But it wasn’t always effective. In fact, a lot of times when I went to traditional therapy – i.e. one-on-one therapy with a licensed professional – I left feeling….like it just didn’t do much for me. Maybe this is why I saw like 8 or 9 (or more?) therapists in the first year and a half after Shawn died. Or maybe…